Ethnic and child background question?
I am just curious what others have done or what can even be legally represented. My daughter is adopted...her mother has in all of her paperwork on her background identified her a one primary ethnic background. She was raped and this information is included in all of the documentation we have as part of the information we have. However, our daughters appearance looks nothing like her ethnic documentation suggests and after she was born her mother said it was highly unlikely with the timing the crime occured that her attacker was the father. However all of her documentation remains the same. I've saved everything for my daughter so she can have it at a later date. This question has two parts: how do we approach this topic when she's older (if )she wasn't conceived in rape, do we include it in the information we share about her mother and what we know about the father before she reads her documentation and is it relevant if her mother shared it isn't likely? I've also read about contested college scholarship opportunities when ethnicity has been in question, and how much controversy surrounds documentation accuracy in adoptions etc...
We are involved in an adoption we are trying to keep open and I truly care about her mother. These topics are not "light" and I feel this was an intense and horrifying several years for her mother and I hesitate approaching the topic with her but I also feel like the information should be as accurate as possible for our daughter. It is apparent that our daughter is a reminder of a bad place in her life and while we love to talk--she really doesn't like to talk about our daughter.
Any suggestions?