My wife doesn't have any urge to have sex. It is actually to the point where I feel like every time we have sex I am almost raping her. She does give willing consent, so it is not rape, but I feel like I am. I am to the point where I want to chemically castrate myself so that I will not have the urge to make love to her anymore. She is defiantly against me doing this, but I don't like the way I feel. I understand that I may have a problem, but I don't see any way to fix myself other than chemical castration. I have talked to her about this and it only seems to cause more problems for us. She has tried the female Viagra and it is so confusing for her that it feels wrong. I have tried all sorts of cognitive blocks, hypnosis, and herbal supplements and they have not reduced my libido. I want to make love about 2 times a day, but realizing that this is unreasonable, I am willing to try to curtail this to 2 times a week, but I am more likely to get it once every 2 months, and this still makes me feel like I am raping her. I am so tired of feeling dirty just because I want to have sex with my wife. How do I fix myself?
Klareese2009-10-16T21:57:04Z
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How old is your wife. She may be perimenopausal. It can happen to women as young as 30 years old. It is quite natural for you to feel like you are raping her. Nobody wants to have sex with another person if they are not enjoying it.
Each of you need to go to a doctor. She is obviously having some troubles... if it is hormonal, they have some fixes for that. She needs to get her bloodwork done, though. Two herbs I know can help her get her energy back... maca and fo-ti. Maca is actually a food... she can work a couple of tablespoons of it into a daily smoothie... it supports the entire endocrine system and the sex drive does get a push from it. Fo-ti is a chinese herb... like ginseng.
You can probably reduce your own sex drive by eating a lot of tofu and other soy products... the buddhist monks did that to reduce their urges. Keep your wife away from this stuff, though. You could also look into acupuncture/oriental medicine, for both of you.
Has she always been this way? I think it is natural for some women to not want sex during some stages of their life. Just what ever you do, do not make her feel like there is something wrong with her for not wanting sex. If she does, she will feel stress and pressure and won't wanna have sex at all. Don't tell her how much you wanna have sex with her and how much you are unhappy with yourself because all those things will make her feel like its her fault. Mastrubate as much as possible and wait. And you don't have a problem for wanting to have sex with your wife. You are being so hard on yourself. If my husband had told me he want's to castrate himself for wanting to have sex with me which I can't do at this point of my life, I would feel so bad and depressed that my libido would be even worse, so don't tell her things like that. Just control your self. You have naughty thoughts go mastrubate, Goodluck
Chemically castrating yourself is a terrible solution, your not a rapist. Stop even thinking about this ridiculous idea. Its your wife who has the problem and is treating you very badly. SHE is the one who needs to be seen by a Dr. and a therapist. There is a reason for her feeling and they will be able to find it out. Your not to blame, if you have treated her well in your marriage. Why are you blaming yourself ? She has more to feel guilty about than you. What man wants to have a cold, stiff body next to them?
Wow, I desire I observed a person such as you as a hubby! You are loaded for your pants and for your cash drawback sufficient. I am in sexless courting with deficient boy! Well, I revered you such a lot given that you stayed so real to her and fairly attempted. If it's real, and no longer simply you pronouncing to get our sympathies, that she does not do her spouse tasks given that she is aware of it "Cheaper to hold her" and likewise used you to get beauty surgical procedure...I consider you have got to take a seat her down and inform her, you do not plan to divorce her however you are no longer going to stick in a sexless marriage. Tell her somethings are going to difference and you are no longer certain she will adore it. Tell her you're no longer watching for a band-support after which for her to return to her methods. If she simply does not desire intercourse in general, be up entrance. Tell her to take into account a few counseling. My wager is she may not do a lot to upgrade the drawback or it may not final lengthy. I understand you consider you've got attempted to speak this, however possibly you have got to do it and be blunt! Maybe she thinks you're comfortable with no longer having intercourse and can cross on like this for the leisure of your lives, regardless of your nagging to her time to time. On the opposite hand, does she have a lover? She would have already got beat you to the punch. You obtained cash, are not able to you rent a PI to faucet her telephones and internet (keylogger) and tail her *** for per week? Maybe then you will not ought to pay a lot for a divorce you'll be able to get an annulment if she's dishonest. Something does not upload up, why she desire beauty surgical procedure to simply keep dwelling and seem beautiful? Even if a man could make you ooze, repeatedly a lady will get bored and wishes to take a look at others. After all, you're all she is aware of, its been a long time, and the honeymoon is over however you obtained dough and you're tolerant of her methods. Well, in any case is claimed and performed, possibly the simplest factor is to simply get a few extracurricular offerings to make up for the spouse. Hope you aren't getting an STD, as condoms are not able to look after from hpv/herpes one hundred%. I have peers who labored within the biz and so much have whatever or different. My male pal stated lady had no signs however you are not able to see microscopic lesions and a few most effective holiday out as soon as however can nonetheless unfold. I desire you get an ordeal separation from spouse (if no longer an annulment) and uncover a protracted-time period female friend, make it transparent!