One of my wife's ex-boyfriends that she is still friends with has been calling a lot more than usual lately. Suddenly, she is taking his calls in another room, I have found text messages asking about hotel deals in our area from him to my wife, and the other day she lied to me and told me she was going to go meet someone else for coffee when the text and phone calls said she was going to go meet him. Am I crazy for thinking that he is becoming more than just a friend now? Am I just to paranoid for my own good? I want to trust her, but I have seen this pattern before with my ex-wife and the results ended in divorce. Should I confront her, or just let it ride and see what happens?
jude2009-11-04T05:48:02Z
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listen to your intuition when u can't figure it out. it won't lie to u. but if someone is going into another room to talk, and they are communicating allot more with someone there is a real good chance that its becoming more than just friends. sometimes if the same thing has happened to us before we will be able to recognize the same behaviors in the next relationship. and its much worse when they lie right to your face. i don;t believe in coincidences in life, look at the facts here so u will be able to figure it out. u have been here before and if it feels and looks the same then it is.
There are many ways to tell if your wife is cheating. One great site that I found helpful is... http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/
If you FEEL she is about to cheat or that she is cheating, trust your gut! I've lived it with my husband.... Just beware of what you might find. People kept telling me that I don't want to know the truth that it hurts to much to know. I disagree to this day. I'm a woman of truth and deserve nothing less. My husband finally came clean after years and years of lies. He feels better and we've been building our relationship every since. It doesn't always have to end in Divorce. If you love her and are in love with her you can work through it. My thought is my husband has no Business having female friends that aren't mine as well. I don't go out on dates or see men for a cup of coffee without my husband because we're a couple. The same as your wife has no Business seeing single men without you being present. There is something there between them that doesn't include you. This should be a red flag!
Do not let it ride.... Read the web site and search for the right answers. You can follow her, check up on her, see if you can catch her in lies but be very careful on your approach with her as this site will tell you that unless you have concrete proof, they will deny til the end.
I went to the source and broke the other woman down into telling me the truth. I told her I had proof but I needed to hear it from her. She melted like butter after a week of confrontation. Then he couldn't deny it any longer.
Be honest it is happening. Probably as we speak her and him are at a local motel taking care of business.
I'd say look at it as can you handle a cheating wife. If yes find a way of dealing with it. Like find your own girl on the side so when your wife is doing this guy you can have someone or work out a schedule.
If you can't live with it go see that old lawyer and get the ball rolling.
After all why waste your time tracking her. You know sooner or later you will have proof at your doorstep. Hell you may walk in on her banging him on your living room floor.
So decide what is next. Start the 'next' and don't worry about the proof.
Given the information and the behavior, I believe your marriage is in serious trouble.
Although I suspect that it may already be too far gone if she's going clandestine in your face, I think I can suggest something that may bring her back into your bed, instead of his: Given that you're interested in saving your marriage, turn the tables by surprising your wife with a get-away weekend at a swank hotel within a day's drive. Keep doing stuff like this periodically, when she least expects it.
I hope things turn around for the two of you. Divorce, children or not, is messy, costly and too often leaves a really bitter feel overall.
Tell her how much you love her and genuinely mean it. Maybe she will feel guilty and stop what she's doing. You should also confront her about the ex. It's obvious that you are uncomfortable with them speaking with each other so much. If you spoke to an ex like she's doing with hers, how would she feel? Ask her that. Being that she's your wife, she should understand and quit her behavior. Try to get involved. Why would he need to know about hotel deals? And why would she know about them? He can be like normal people and expedia.com that information. I hope it's nothing.