My wife is staying/ helping my mother-in-law recover from hip surgery. While there she stumbled on to some credit card bills-they add up to around $33,000 in debt! The MOL lives very modestly so we assume she racked up this debt as a result of losing most of her things from hurricane Katrina but isn't able to repay it because her income is only around $20,000/yr. Obviously bankruptcy will be her only way out-something we'll have to discuss with her soon. Obviously my wife wants to give her mother $ to help but I say it's throwing good money away especially since we all agree on the MOL filing bankruptcy in the future. I say we'd be helping her more by helping her find resources and get her finances back in order and only then in an emergency give her small gifts of money if absolutely necessary. Any other suggestions???? Thanks.
Anonymous2009-11-10T02:31:04Z
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smart guy and good thinking. however you forget it is two women you are dealing with and they operate on emotion and not logic. ( for the most part, not calling anyone stupid ) we have the same problem with an adult child of ours who now lives with us and wants her mom to support her ( to the tune of 600.00 cash every month ) plus house and feed her. any way, stck to your guns and try to talk sense to them. good luck my friend you'll need it.
Ok, the MOL lives modestly - does she live within her income, other than paying off debt? If yes, then it's not good money after bad. You need to talk to her to find out.
That said, the main question is whether you can afford to help. Any money you give will be a gift, not a loan. Helping MOL find services, a room mate, and aid will be a bigger help than $500 here or there.
Keep in mind, though - if you don't help your MOL and she goes bankrupt, you may find her living with you. Be prepared.
If it was me and my mom, I would sit with her and figure out her budget, and then make sure she had enough to live on, making up the difference myself. $20K doesn't go far if she's paying mortgage or rent, and I owe her and my dad a lot.
I truthfully have interior the previous and, commonly, it incredibly is no longer a exceptional thought. It relies upon on the reason of the elect, merely what the money would be used for and so on. yet, the place achieveable, I prefer to 'provide' incredibly than 'lend' as a results of fact there is too lots rigidity in waiting for a private loan to be repaid. If i can't provide outright i will sometimes pay a bill this is pressing pointing out that i will elect the money to be repaid via a particular time after which it commonly is. i do no longer lend or provide for trivial or luxurious products which we've all had to maintain up for or circulate with out ourselves. youthful people ought to comprehend that we are going to no longer have each little thing we elect and a exceptional style of issues that youngsters say they 'elect' commonly come interior the class of 'elect'. we will not continually be around to assist so the quicker they comprehend that the greater suitable it is going to likely be for them. all of us elect a assisting hand at a while in our lives nonetheless and carefully turning somebody away ought to bring about them going someplace incredibly unsavoury to get help incredibly and that should bring about even greater effective kinfolk issues.
Situations like this require tough love in order to turn this into a teachable moment. Say, "sorry granny, ain't got no cash for you today. Good luck." The wife won't like it but in the long run it's the best course of action for everyone involved.
Bankruptcy is not the answer, because that will totally destroy her financial credibility...
It is a far better solution to call up each creditor, and try to work out a reasonable payment plan...and explain your situation, and explain that you want to pay it off, if given time..