My 17 year old son keeps attempting suicide - I feel helpless?
The last few weeks have been a nightmare, my 17 year old son has attempted suicide on a number of occasions, he's almost in emergency departments weekly after overdosing on various pills. The involuntary inpatient system here in Perth Australia is for 18+ which is outrageous. We've had him in private psychiatric clinics but he's either discharged himself or been discharged for breaking the rules. Everyday the phone rings or there's a knock on the door, I feel like I'm going to hear those dreaded words 'your son has passed away'. I've been to so many psychs with my son. He finally got mood stabilising meds he claimed would help him but has now attempted suicide again with those & anti depressants, sleeping tablets etc & is now in emergency observation yet again. I'm starting to feel angry, I feel guilty but I'm so angry. For the first time he has actually blamed me & abused me. My son was sexually abused by his father & grandfather & legal proceedings are pending. I'm so terrified I won't have my son with me for xmas. I don't know if he's doing this for attention now given it's been so many times over the last few weeks as he usually goes near a hospital then takes the medication overdose. We fear that he is going to accidentally do it or his body will just give out with all the od attempts. I've got some people saying enough is enough, I have a little one to look after too & they're saying I've done all I can but I can't give up on my child yet I'm going to go insane over all of this. Appreciate any advice or similar stories as this is an utter nightmare.
Lovey2009-11-29T02:39:38Z
Favorite Answer
It's interesting that he goes near the hospital to take the pills. I wouldn't say he's doing it in this specific manner for attention, though, is doing it to show those around him how badly he feels. He's doing it to show how much he wants help. If he's just started a few weeks ago, I understand you're exhausted, but don't listen to these folks saying "enough is enough"! You can hang in with your own son for a few weeks! You can hang in with him for months! This is a life or death situation. You're supposed to be a soldier for your child! If you couldn't protect him from his father and grandfather, show him that you're willing to go to the edge of the Earth for him! Do what you need to do to show him you're not giving up on him. Do you have a husband? He may have to take over the majority of the care for your little one for now. Build a support network around you. Someone can help with meals. Someone can help with housework. Someone can be the one you talk to. Another can be with your son when you can't. Focus on your son. Let your son blame you. Let him say whatever he needs to say without you getting defensive. Don't take abuse, but allow him to be angry. Go where he goes. Eat with him. Sleep with him. Be right there with him! Tell him how much you love him and no matter what he says or does, keep repeating this message. I don't care if he's puking his guts out and bleeding on the floor. You get down in the floor with him! What you're going to need is long term counseling. His medication is going to take several weeks to make him feel better. Once he feels better, you're BOTH going to need to learn coping skills. Find an excellent counselor who deals with the sexually abused. The human brain is amazing. It doesn't deal with issues until it's ready to deal with them. Once your son was able to express how he feels fully, this is what he's done. It's a huge expression and it's horrible. What happened to him is a huge deal and it was horrible. He is simply expressing. Acknowledge him. Get some sleep. You're in for the long haul. Good luck and God bless. I'll be praying for you all.
You must try to stay strong. I know it is hard. Be there for him the best you can! Of course you can never give up on your child! He is your son! And those people who said that do not understand. i am not a mom yet(only 18). My mother has a mental disability. She was without oxygen when she was born. The cord wrapped around her neck. And we battle like cats and dogs. But we have good times as well. I love her more than anything. She is my support. I don't tell her that of course because I am to stubborn. If I were to lose her i would lose my desire to live. My grandma and father have passed away. My father od'ed and he sexually abused me. Only when he was drunk. His mom my grandma(met when I was 2). She passed away when they just got their relationship in the right order. But as much as I hated him when he passed I still love him. He genuinaly was a good person. He was just lost. The last time I saw him was at a Winn dixie. The last thing I ever said to him was i love you daddy. And he told me see ya later. It was never goodbye to him just see ya later. It has been 8 years. And I still miss him. Even though he was an asshole at times. No one can ever take the place of your son. I know he loves you! He needs support right now. He blames you because you probably didn't suspect any sexual abuse between his father and grandfather. He wants to die because it is his father and grandfather who did this to him. I am so sorry for that. If I were you I probably would have killed my husband if he ever did that to my son. But I am not married yet. Just be there the best you can for him. He really needs you. And he doesn't say it but he loves you. And really he really wants you to be there for him. DON'T GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT! FIGHT FOR HIM! I am not saying this will happen. But in the unfortunate even that he does pass from all the od's. Use this experience to help others if you can. Either way you must prepare yourself. I know it is hard. I am not telling you to give up. FIGHT LIKE HELL! i hope everything get's better!
I think you should ask him what he wants you to do. Tell him you would be heartbroken if he died and say to him 'Im willing to do anything to keep you alive - you just tell me what you need.'
I was suicidal at that age and thats the one thing i wish my mum said to me - she forced me to stay at a school that i hated and if she had taken me out of that school i would not have attempted suicide. Maybe he wants some time off school, or for you to take him away for a few weeks or maybe you could buy him some concert tickets or something. Just ask him.
Did you know the winner of Australian Idol this year was sexually abused when he was nine years old? I will try to find a link to an article that he can read - maybe he will feel less alone and it will show him that people can overcome it.
This article he mentions abuse (but he means sexual abuse): http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/warrior-stan-in-fight-of-his-life/story-e6frex2i-1225801785004?from=public_rss
I'm not too sure what to tell you about this... I've never been through this experience and I'm really sorry that you have to. I would suggest making sure he knows that you're there and that you do care. A lot of people who think about suicide think no one will care when they are gone. Make sure he knows that you will care. Also, he needs help. Get him in to see a councilor. And make sure he actually takes his medication. I went through a depression spout when I was younger and I refused to take my medication. I would wait till my mom walked away and then I would dump it. Make sure he actually takes it so he can get the full benefit from it.
first im very sorry to hear this , this must be torture for you! i would do , i would first take EVERYTHING out of reach from him i don't have experience with this but when i heard this i felt so bad you need some help! ok well . just try and talk to him and ask him what's wrong if he wont answer you i would try taking him to a conslous , with both of you. make him open up. if it still doesnt work he could be depressed? anti depressent pills are also out there now. ask his doctor. i hope i have helped!