Am I Obsessed with ex getting married?

Question

Just found out yesterday through a friend that an ex-girlfriend is getting married next month. First of, I didnt know she had a boyfriend. Second, I havnt spoken to her directly since December. Third, its been nearly two years since we split (but on bad terms, though we worked out our differences and became good friends). 

I've moved on and dated casually, but havnt gotten anywhere near serious with any of them. But somehow she keeps popping up in my head and even my dreams. But I havnt had a good opportunity to talk with her inspite of our busy schedules, holidays and such. So it came to me as a surprise that she had been engaged for some time.

But why, oh why cant I get her out of my head now over this news, especially since I sworn to move on months ago? I have no ill regards towards her and I'm happy for her, but I feel so empty now. While I think of her happiness, I meanwhile wallow in self pity and cant stand it.

I've thought of seeking therapy to overcome my sadness, but am not sure if it will work. I've endured so many dissapointments in life to even start looking in a new direction. Can anyone relate to this?

rtjk1 · Accepted Answer

Getting over someone takes a long time. Sometimes it can be a few months to a few years. In your case, it's more a matter of just not finding inner happiness yet and so you naturally feel empty and incomplete while others seem to have found something good in their lives. 

But the best way to fully move on until things improve is to try to think positively no matter how hard it seems at this point. You will have good things happen to you, you will find someone right for you, and you 100% will move on from her. It's only a matter of time! Time can be a real hassle because it sometimes feels like it's taking so long. But you just have to be patient and hopeful and in the end, there will be some kind of satisfaction in your life, I can assure you on that. 

Maybe one can never be 100% happy with everything or move on 100% from someone in the past, I personally haven't and won't, but that's irrelevant as long as long as I know deep down that I will get my chance one day also! Speaking from past break-ups, I know how hard it can be. The thought of them rarely crosses my mind these days, except last month I found out one of my exes had found a new boyfriend. At first, I kept thinking about it even though I didn't want my ex back, and I also wallowed in my own self-pity, but the thought that my life will one day change and become just as good is reason enough to keep me moving forward!

If we wallow in our own misery, we just accept defeat and ignore other good things in our life. Perhaps all you need is closure. You could speak to her, but that might make things worse. So in my opinion, the best form of closure is comfort in one's future and self. Me personally.. I'm going on a trip overseas to do something different in my life and add some new experiences. 

Good luck and all the best! :) You will move on and your life will get better! We are most happy when we see hopeful signs and sparks in our future, so try to think forward, not back! :))

Peter · Answer

1

frenchi · Answer

we are all connected, so yo know what you done wrong in the relationship and she knows what she did if she did any.
What's done is done

Am I Obsessed with ex getting married?

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