a little over 2 and a half years ago I got pregnant and the father told me to abort or he was leaving me. I didn't abort and he did leave
fast forward to now, I filed for full legal custody of my daughter so I could get her a passport- they changed the law to require both parents to agree- and the state told me that they located the father that I had assumed left the country- he is from India.
My laywer saked me if I want to ask for child support while I am filing for custody and I don't know the answer to that question. We are doing ok, our apartment is kinda crappy but its in a really nice neighborhood in one the best school district in the city. I don't have money for luxuries but we eat organic and my girl doesn't need anything that I haven't been able to provide.
The question is: is it worth going through the hassle of court for support and then possibly having to deal with this total loser forever or should I just blow it off and hope that I get a career takeoff and can eventually improve my housing and what not. Thanks
beenthere2010-03-21T12:30:49Z
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There was a time when you were in love with this "loser" and chose him to be the father of this child. He was obviously comfortable with the idea of pregnancy until after it happened. Regardless of your or his actions, he will always be her father.
Is he working/earning enough money to be capable of paying child support? If not, there is no point in proceeding.
Reason 1 to pursue child support - As her father, he needs to accept the responsibility of having fathered a child. He needs to accept responsibility for his actions in getting you pregnant. You did not do it alone. It is time for him to "man up"
Reason 2 - With the assistance of child support, there are many things that your daughter could enjoy that she may not have access to at this point. You are getting a passport so seem to be making travel plans. In time, there will be activities that she would like to join, such as arts, sports, crafts, etc all or any of which may be expensive. It may seem like a long way off, but there will be expenses related to education (college, university, etc). Your apartment is "kinda crappy" and you could afford to make it a place where she can bring her friends to or rent a house that has room for a play area.
Reason 3 - At some point in her life, she may want to meet him. You will have information about his whereabouts to facilitate her search. She may not want to but it is not right for you to deny her that possibility.
Coming from a father who has paid child support for 17 years, I would definitely ask for support. I've always tried to do the right thing and still get bashed by the ex so I wouldn't want anybody else not going through the fun that I've had!
Ask for child support. He is her father and he is OBLIGATED to support his child. If he didn't want children in the first place, he should've been a big boy and used protection. Just because you ask for support doesn't mean he will automatically gain any custody. However, he is your daughter's father and one day she may be upset with you if you keep her from him. Not asking for support doesn't automatically mean he won't one day seek visitation or some form of joint custody. Either way, he owes his child. Plain and simple. Good luck to you and your little girl :)