i cant even describe to you the anger i feel right now. basically my mum absolutely doesnt like my dog because of SOMETHING HE CANNOT CONTROL. my dog drops a lot of fur, he is a jack russell terrier x wire haired so his breed basically requires him to drop fur. she is sick of the house being messy from the dog hair and insists the carpets are beyond saviour. i suggested i would vacuum the house every week but she said that the dogs hair flies everywhere anyway and the min its vacuumed up, more will come so there is no point. she said that her brothers in china always change dogs as they get older (my dog is currently 4 years old) and u should never raise a dog for its full life, its easier to just send it away to a shelter or someone else and get a brand new, cute little puppy instead. SHE INFURIATES ME SO MUCH with this comment, i am an avid animal lover and believe all animals deserve love and care, not just the ones that are cuter than the others and if u have raised a dog for 4 years, you DO NOT just send it away because it isnt cute or other ridiculous factors the dog cant help such as shedding fur. she says he is useless, has no value as hes a mutt, not pretty like collies etc. and a burden to our home. she said if she had a non shedding dog she would take it for drives in her car but because he sheds fur, she refuses to take him out and would rather him locked up at home if i cannot take him out for a walk. shes been talking with my grandpa to try and convince him the same and he lived in china for 30 years and has different beliefs to westerners (im asian australian) and he also tried to convince me about the beautiful dogs we could have instead of my dog and how cute they are. BTW my mum is asian and when she used to live in china as a girl, they ATE dogs so she feels no sympathy or attachment towards them clearly. i have had so many huge fights with her this past week and it was mostly stimulated because the dog had jumped on the couch while we were away and because I (IT WAS MY FAULT) didnt cut his nails short enough, they pulled out some of the wool in her grey jumper and she was PISSED. she started kicking the baby gate we have furiously until it was bent and threw my dogs bed off the balcony. i have tried countless times to calmly talk to her rationally but nothing will process and she has threatened numerous times that i will come home one day and see the dog is gone. ive threatened her that i will leave if the dogs leaves so she has to make a choice. i love animals, i love my dog and there is no reason he needs to leave our home because of a biological factor he cannot control. i am someone who doesnt see the need to send my dog away simply because of something natural such as aging. she said this dog is worthless and there is no use keeping him. shes also made up a whole bunch of bulls**t excuses such as 'the dog is affecting your studying', 'the dog is bad for your health and we're all going to end up with fur in our lungs' . TRUST ME do not tell me to try and speak to her calmly u dont know how many times ive done that, what can i do? wat do u think of my mum? I am so angry.
ftleo2010-05-04T07:08:05Z
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Whether or not the poster can punctuate, they don't deserve to be judged by someone who hasn't read the actual post. There are some significant details hidden in the run-on paragraph that indicate that the mother may have some ideas that are quite a bit left of center from the way most of us perceive our beloved pets. Some of things said are almost inexcusable and the tantrum throwing things behavior of mom is more akin to a spoiled teenager than perhaps the actual teenager has behaved. Sometimes older is not wiser.
Unfortunately, getting through to someone who is so much of a different perception can be very very difficult, especially if that person is in a position of authority and doesn't see your point of view as having any merit. There are reminders of my own mother (also Chinese) in the behavior that you describe, and it saddens me much that the poor dog is the one who may ultimately suffer the most from her attitude if it does end up abandoned because it isn't "pretty like a Collie." I don't have much to offer you in the way of changing her attitude since I have never had much luck with my own mum, and I'm 37 now.
I can however offer some advice on making the dog less of an irritation as far as shedding, since most dogs can only shed a finite amount of hair in any given day. Investing in a good set of grooming clippers and a schnauzer like shave for the pooch might be in order. Most of her complaints can be addressed along with the worst of the shedding by proper grooming and regular brushing. Trimmed nails can do less damage and short buzz cuts and a slicker brush can really make a dent in the hair all over the place. Maybe that will help curb her irritation to the point she stops threatening to dispose of the animal.
You can try telling her how much the dog means to you and what steps you will take to keep him properly tidied up ( and with the right haircut she might even find him cute - you never know). You could even try to explain how much it upsets you when she threatens but I don't know if that will make any difference to her or not (my own mom never did seem much affected by what upsets ME, and if this is a trait of the culture then I suppose there isn't much to be done about it.) You could try the route that getting a new puppy would be even more likely to distract from your studies since it will be a great deal of work to train and raise - the early years with a dog are always the hardest before you find a comfortable rhythm with your friend. The logic of trading out for a new dog every four years is utter idiocy, its not a car lease, and the maintenance costs don't increase with time.
Perhaps the solution is having another person that she respects make your case for you. Is there an adult that she will hear the information differently from than if it comes from you? Perhaps a teacher at school maybe that you trust or another friend of the family? Sometimes that was my only resort in getting something through my moms head that seemed impossible coming from me. Sometimes they hear things differently depending on the source. If you want to do some real work you could maybe put together a research project on how many abandoned dogs are in the shelters and being put down and causing a drain on economic resources paid by her taxes. Maybe you can get extra credit for the project at school and show your mom that it's not just important to you to keep the dog, but important for pet owners to act responsibly when they choose to have a pet and understand that decision means for life, not just until it becomes inconvenient.
I'm sorry for both you and your pet having to face this kind of thing. I wish I could offer more comfort. Good luck.
Maybe the time for talking with mum is over and now it is time for action. You should invest in a good dog brush. Brush your dog every day OUTSIDE and remove all fur into the rubbish bin. Secondly, don't just talk about the vacuuming, just get going and do it every couple of days. Give mum a surprise and wipe down all surfaces that may accumulate dog fur. Try to share the fondness. Sometimes giving the dog too much affection can spur a feeling of being left out in some people. Your mum might get the impression that you love the dog more. Maybe you could reinforce your feelings for you mum by telling her you love her and understand that there is a problem that you are now going to try and fix, or at least take on the lions share of the work to keep the family home relatively fur free. Keep the nails trimmed with a good clipper. Good Luck with your endeavours.
She's acting pretty childish about this whole thing. No offense to your mother, I'm sure she's otherwise a good person, but she's letting this dog get to her too easily.
Also, while I enjoy a good burger now and then, I still feel empathy for animals, even the ones I eat. I still have some amount of respect for the cow I'm about to slaughter and carve up into hamburger, roasts, and steaks because it's still a living creature. Her lack of empathy for dogs isn't necessarily due to seeing them as a prey animal/food source. It probably has more to do with a lack of true empathy for animals in general. They're a novelty to her, and little more, and there's little you can do to reason with that mentality. Somebody who doesn't love or empathize with dogs will not understand how you can possibly love your dog. Some people are just like that.
I'd just go for damage control. Clip your dog's nails every week and give him a good brushing every day to minimize hair. Don't ask if you can vacuum, just go ahead and do it. Sounds like she's just not actually a dog person at all if she can't accept that most of them shed. Work on training your dog to stay off the furniture as well. There are a bunch of different ways to go about this, so I recommend a google search.
Good luck, maybe some day your mom will catch on and understand what you're trying to say, but if this has been her lifelong attitude toward dogs then it's not likely to change. :P
If you want your mom to stop complaining and you really DO want to keep your dog then just do the following:
1. VACUUM! VACUUM! VACUUM! Seriously, I cannot stress this enough. If you love your dog as much as you say you do then it shouldn't be a problem at all to vacuum 3-4 times a week.
2. BRUSH! BRUSH! BRUSH! A shedding blade works great on short hair dogs. All you need to do is take your dog outside for 5 minutes each day and run a shedding blade over him. It will work like a charm, TRUST ME!
3. Salmon oil, Flax Seed Oil or Mazola Oil. Adding one of these oils to their diet can help reduce shedding. WARNING: consult a veterinarian first for dosing information.
4. Feeding a premium dog food - Remember! The first ingredient listed MUST be a meat, not a meat by product. Bad food = unhealthy hair and skin. Unhealthy hair and skin = heightened shedding Simple as that.
If the problem goes beyond the dogs shedding (and unfortunately, it sounds like it does) then I would highly recommend finding your dog a home yourself. Atleast this way you can be sure you are picking a great home, as opposed to whatever the hell your mom would do with it.
Keep your head up. You WILL eventually move out of your mothers home and you will be able to live your life how you want with as many dogs as you want. :)
While I don't think your mums behaviour is at it's best (to say it lightly), it IS her home and adds alot of work for her if this dog really sheds as much as she says. 1. Don't "offer" to vaccum once a week. Just do it. And no tjust once a week but every 2 days or so while it sheds. 2. Brush brush brush and brush! Everyday! Use a good brush like furminator to help remove all this loose hair. 3. If your dog ALWAYS sheds this much, take it to a vet and see if there is a medical reason for it. Maybe it's missing some vitamin or minerals. 4. See if you can keep you dog out of your mums "territory". Your room while your gone, go outside with it as much as you can...ect. 5. If all this doesn't help calm your mum down, find a new home for the dog yourself. Don't wait till she does as she threatened and takes the dog to a shelter or worse.