I'm talking in good health people, who are mid-late 30's to mid-early 40's adopting for the first time. Do you think that their age and life experiences help them be better parents than adoptive and/or natural families in their 20's? Please assume in this question that the adoptive parents are in great health, and that the children being adopted need homes and can't be raised by natural families.
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Favorite Answer
No. I think it is unfair for a child to be adopted by an older couple.
drkangel210e
I think that there are advantages and disadvantages to having older or younger parents, respectively. Older parents might have more life skills figured out and be better off financially than parents in their 20's. Younger parents have more energy play with their kids and generally interact. My a-parents always say that they were glad they didn't adopt later in life, as they started to lose energy when they hit their 40's. Both of them are in very good health.
I decided to start my family (biological) when I was in my 20's. We started trying to have a baby when I was 23, but suffered a miscarriage. I had my first child at 25, four months ago. We aren't in perfect financial shape, but by the time she's old enough to notice material things we'll be normal upper-middle-class people. I would challenge anyone who implies that a 35 or 40 year-old would be a better parent to MY child. The same way I would presume that I'd be a better parent to THEIR child.
Carol c
No. My son's adoptive parents were older and they always seem more like grandparents, he always said. In fact they're close to my parent's age.
More importantly though , I think any child is better off with it's natural parents (unless it's an abusive home) or at least another family member than any other set of parents older or not.
Fond Memories
I was a parent of 3 in my 20s and I had plenty of energy to play ball and sports with them. I am now a parent in my 40s of two other children and I noticed this time around I don't play sports like I used to and I am more relaxed then when I was younger and less prone to yell at them when they do wrong I tend to talk with them now so what I am saying a younger parent will have more energy to do sports and run around with their children and be more prone to raise their voice however I have found out at a older age I am more likely to spend time with them going to the breakfast house or just talking to them and just enjoying them . When I was younger I would go to bars and drink which took time away from the children now I sit at home watching a movie we call it Movie night Things are very different between the 3 I had when I was younger And the 2 I have now I enjoy being a parent more now then when I was younger
FlyingMonkeySwatter
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/08/20/georgia.child.cruelty/index.html
I post the article to prove the point--the demographics of the family-natural, older, adoptive, foster can have nothing to do with the quality of the parenting. That doesn't exclude the emotions that come from the uniqueness of the situation the parental/child situation came from-but I truly believe people are the people they are at the time they are. Situational and emotional stress can make people bad parents. That is the same of the adult who is responsible for little people they either birthed or not.
I get frustrated with the generalizations made about adoptions being good or bad as if it is a black or white question that applies to everyone involved in parenting.