What's up with people that say "What you look like doesn't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts..."?

...but claim to be either gay or straight? If looks don't matter, then why don't you date people of both genders? Last time I asked this, I was told I was "insensitive and shallow" because I think sexual attraction is an important part of a relationship.

So tell me: if what's on the outside doesn't matter, why do you only date one gender, the one that you think looks better?

2010-09-03T20:35:46Z

Yes, personality is important. But that doesn't mean that looks have zero effect, because they do.

big willie style2010-09-03T20:43:36Z

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No one ever said that looks have zero effect. I think at least for me the point is that looks is only a tool and a minor tool for determining if I am interested in someone. I might look and even drool a bit but the truth is that it takes personality, kindness, compassion, empathy and intelligence to truly draw my interest and if a person had look but none of the other things then I simply wouldn't interest. But if a person had multiple qualities on the list but wasn't a looker I would date that person.
As to the link to gender and looks I can't say I'm sure that is a fair comparison. Gender attraction isn't physical it's innate.
Sexual attraction and looks are not that same thing and confusing the two might make people think you are shallow (I don't think that btw) It's a legitimate question. All people are different now to me looks are far far far less important But that is me looks are seen as a tool not the the tool or the important tool. I'd take a smart and nice guy who isn't nice looking over a hot stupid jerk any day of the week.

?2010-09-04T03:48:15Z

You are right. Even so, I prefer to view external looks as the lubricant or catalyst for a relationship, not the foundation of one, With this in consideration, the phrase should become 'It does matter what you look like, but your personality and intelligence is much, much more important. Beautiful idiots are so unattractive. in comparison, some could easily change my phrase to "it does matter how much money you make, but your personality and intelligence is much more important. Regardless, if anyone bases a real relationship solely on looks (AHEM- MEN) or money (AHEM- WOMEN),it will eventually hurt both parties. That is, unless one of them (or both of them) doesn't have a soul.

Stimpy2010-09-04T03:38:38Z

we're physical beans so we look for physical things we are attracted too

?2010-09-04T03:52:25Z

what........