Should I ask my husband for a divorce? Please I need advice? I don't know what to do.?

If my husband makes me feel like hell when I ask him to do something, if our interests are completely different, if we have different views on almost all of topics that mean the most in our lives, if he makes me feel guilty for asking him to do something really simple, such as take a shower or can you hold your daughter, if I can't tell him how i feel on certain things because he makes me feel horrible, if his and my outlook on life is different, if i don't feel that spark when we kiss anymore, if I have to lie to him on certain things just because its easier then telling him (like how i feel about something), should I ask him for a divorce?

Just a couple notes with this:
*I am 21 and he is 23
*We have been married almost 2 years
*I am one of those people that care what people think and hate inconveniencing people
*He was doing some messages over the internet with some girl through facebook, that started a year ago but he tried to get ahold of her when I went home in May of this year to visit family (I thought I got over this but I keep looking back at all the times I thought he was being kind and turns out he had just finished talking to her and then was being OVERLY nice to me)
*I am not a quiter and I never have been. I keep thinking things will get better.
*I am afraid to be alone in life, my family just moved to Germany so I really don't have anyone left in the states.
*I have always viewed my husband would be someone that had interests i had and would be successful in life and job (not so much)
*I feel like he may not be mature enough to be married yet or have a child
*He is not abusive in any way
*We do have a 10 month old daughter and NO that is not why we got married. We got along great and well he basically lied to me and then when we got married, everything came to light.
*He is not passionate about anything and has no life goals.
*He says I am the reason he is an a** hole to me. (i have turned him into a jerk and yes he acknowledges he is a jerk)
*I am going to school online and he gets mad when I wait to do homework over the weekend so he can hold our daughter so I can get something done. He makes a big deal out of it and doesnt support me at all.

Now I am no angel when it comes to our arguments and have said things below the belt but its more because I feel like I have to for him to understand. Of course this does not work. I truly feel that he does not care for me and he calls me lazy all the time when I am a stay at home mom to a 10 month old. But when I did work and brought home money while pregnant, he still called me lazy. I can never do anything for him to show appreciation or love. The way he shows affection is slapping my *** or grabing my crotch asking if I want to have sex. He occasionally puts his arm around me when we are walking around but that has literally only happened 2 times. I told him I love that but I guess it doesn't matter because he makes no effort to do it.

I can't give up because we have a child together but I am not sure how much longer I can do this. I am so sad all the time. I have been loved before and it was nothing like this. This is miserable and makes me hate myself. Please help I need advice and don't have anyone to turn to, I don't know what to do.

Please answer with real answers and not jokingly or being an a**hole. I really need advice on this situation I'm falling apart inside

G2010-09-12T23:17:49Z

Favorite Answer

WOW! You just blew me away with your story bc i just posted one very simular! im going threw alot of the same thing right now. im 22 my husband is 28 we got married after a yr of being together we been married for 2 1/2 yrs now and we too have a child together who just turned one! we are both in the military and deployed right now. my husband does not slap my *** or emotionally abuse me which you do not deserve at all. hes a good man and father but he cares about nobody but himself most of the time. b4 we deployed all he did was work and play video games (world of war craft) i would leave and he wouldnt even know i was gone untill he got hungry. he left the house a mess alllll the time and would never help do anything. i gained some weight when i was prego and had not lost it and he devorced his first wife bc she got fat is what he says and was lazy. and i was afriad he would leave me bc i was fat. well i was hurtting and going threw a lot i cried to him how i felt and it didnt change a thing. well i cheated on him! not the right answer! dont do that! it made him realize he was going to loose me. he forgave me and we worked on things i really tied to make things work and so did he but i dont feel the same for him any more i fell no sexual desire for him i dont even want to kiss him anymore. well i lost about 65 lbs and im looking fabulous and he noticed that guys are more attracted to me. now he wants to have sex all the time and think things are all ok and being really protective but i do not feel attracted to him anymore. when i tried to talk to him about it he made me feel the same way your husband does so me too just stoppped trying to talk to him and pretend like everythings ok. but just like you its killing me. its been about 6 months scince i cheated on him and i tired tofind the spark with him again but can not. he left me waiting for him to meet me like we planned many times forgets about me forgets everything i ask him to do or tell him. "i forgot im sorry " thats is reason for everything and he always tells me im over reactting. so me too just stopped bugging and just acted like everythings ok. but i think we both know its not. us being mothers fell we have to do the right thing for our children and be with their father and stay with our husbands. but also why should we have to put our self in the situation to not be happy to not live our lifes to the fullest and be happy about who we are. and a guy like that does not deserve anyone. me too have been feeling like i want a devorce. but im afriad how it will end and what will happen to me and my son. i would suggest trying to work on it but i know thats nt always easy i know the feeling but it sounds like you have tried and theres no hope and if he treats you like that no one should live like that and i say devorce him! your a woman and you need to prtect yourself and your daughter from a situation that could get worse! you are young and got so much more you could have for yourself! dont let him bring you down or make you think your anyless then you are! moms will do anything for their child and thats the one thing men missed in the child having bussiness! they think we NEED them. and its un true we need our children to grow up in a good environment and a heathy home! and we will make sure that happens being mothers, we will do anything for our children! they missed out on that and will never understand! so yeah devorce him and be proud about it and know your making a better life for you and your child!!!!

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mallicoatdd2010-09-12T15:45:50Z

This is the textbook reason for not engaging in personal relationships that include sex that simply aren't satisfying. Because now unfortunately there are 2 casualties of your lack of self esteem and not listening for what ever reason and getting involved with this guy in the first place, you and your daughter.It is hard to let someone go when things are broken, it is even harder to stop letting things roll off your back because your scared to change your situation. But that has been happening to you for quite a while and you haven't listened... so... are you going to start listening yet ?

10

?2010-09-12T15:45:45Z

it is devistatingly sad for you to be in this situation, i know. my mom went through the same thing when i was just a baby. she divorced him, and it was probably one of the best things she has ever done other than go back to college at 50. I would advise to go look into a divorce, yes. but even better advice would to call your parents and get their advice.

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Anonymous2010-09-12T16:06:10Z

that's what happens when you don't take the time to get to know each other first. people just want to jump in the sack and say oh let's get married. Its not about sex

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?2010-09-12T22:19:34Z

I'll mark this down as another young marriage that failed.

Get the divorce without his consent, if you're really asking him for it then you need to grow a backbone.

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