Moms: Do you ever feel like you're so busy taking care of your kids that you don't get to enjoy your kids?

Question

Since my son was born a month ago, my days are non-stop diapers and bottles. Between the crying baby and the temper-tantrum-throwing toddler, I feel like I'm constantly trying to walk the line between teaching and being harsh. I'm always trying to divide my time between them, but they're never happy at the same time, which stresses me out. Unless by some miracle they both happen to nap at the same time, I barely get a chance to enjoy a cup of coffee because that's the time when I have to take care of the house-- then they're up and at it again. It's not that I dislike caring for them. It's just that lately, I get a little jealous when my hubby comes home and gets to sit on the floor and play with our daughter while I change/feed/burp/whatever our son, and then he gets to relax and enjoy holding the baby while I cook dinner, because I keep an eye on our daughter while I do it. I feel like I don't spend enough quality time with my kids because I'm so busy running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to keep them and the house cared for. Do any of you feel like that? Or is this maybe a sign of PPD? Just tell me I'm not the only one out there feeling like this.

2010-10-22T09:45:54Z

Keshequa, I wish more than anything I could do some of the things you said! Taking a nice relaxing shower or ordering food to take a night off from cooking used to be my luxuries. But since my son was born, my c-section incision has failed to heal, so every day I have to let a nurse pack it and bandage it, and I can only shower right before she changes the dressing. And money's too tight right now to spend it on ordering in. I think part of my problem is that the tools I used to use to de-stress are unavailable to me, and it makes me kind of sad.

keshequa87 · Accepted Answer

You are absolutely not alone and it will get better.  Meanwhile, hand your hubby the baby and order some food in.  Go for a walk or take a bath while you're waiting for it to arrive.  Let the housework slide a bit.  Laundry is a given- it will never stop- whether you do it or not, you know?  Turn up the music and dance with your toddler while you hold the baby...  One day of not teaching/being harsh will do no harm.  Give yourself permission to let the non-essentials slide now and then!  Again, this will pass much more quickly than you know right now.  Hang in there and best wishes.
EDIT:  I know.  I had four c-sections and four kids within six years.  I really learned to let the housework go and sit on the floor with my lovies whenever possible.  Reading was my personal escape and I made time for it despite my exhaustion.  I feel for you, truly.  I PROMISE it gets better!

Tracy · Answer

This is so normal!  Take heart in being a regular human being (and an exceptional Mommy who wants to have some quality time with her babies).  

I strongly suggest signing up for the daily digest emails at www.flylady.net.  She gives the BEST pep-talks!  And has great suggestions for putting life in order, without going for broke, or driving yourself crazy trying to get everything done at once.  

I actually set a timer for play time with my son.  It helps me focus just on him for the whole time because I know I'm not going to get off track and it helps him understand that when the timer goes off, Mommy has to get back to blessing the house for a while.  It may sound strange to plan and time play with our kids, but if that's what it takes - it's fantastic.

I'd also recommend that on really difficult days, that you dress them both in the cutest outfits you own, and taking them for a walk - at the park, around the mall, anywhere.  Get out and let people oogle at your babies and enjoy being the Mommy of 2 adorable little ones.  They'll be distracted by the people, you'll get out and moving, and the break from just being at home without rushing through a grocery store will do you all a little good.

Also - don't be afraid to turn on a favorite TV show for your toddler in order to spend 15 minutes with your baby.  Or, bargaining with Dad for 15 minutes of down time with each little one in the evenings.

♫♪Bag♫♪ · Answer

I feel this way in the house. The best way to get over it is to go and have some fun. Once you get out and about it's a lot easier to enjoy them without having to discipline all the time.

Moms: Do you ever feel like you're so busy taking care of your kids that you don't get to enjoy your kids?

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