If your significant other made a medical decision that caused the death of your child...?

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Probably not. I wouldn’t blame him outright but I know subconsciously I would resent him....Show more

If his decision led to the child's death, I'd always think of it as his error - that might not be what you mean by blame. I think if he took the blame, was wracked by regret and angry at himself for not respecting the risks he took with his decision, and said that he made the decision in ignorance and would do it differently if he had it to do over again, I could forgive him. I'd still always think of it as his bad judgment that led to the death, but if he admitted fault and showed sincere remorse, eventually I would get over the resentment as part of my grieving process.

But if he insisted he had made the best possible, only right decision, and it was just fate, while I had disagreed at the time or been overridden? I'd probably never stop feeling resentment.

With your details: If I hadn't objected, if I had let him take the responsibility for the decision - I wouldn't blame him. I'd probably be sympathetic to him because he'd likely blame himself, and I'd be on the hook too because I didn't take the responsibility of the decision along with him....Show more

OK, we're talking about someone who loves their kid and would never intentionally hurt them.... Right?

Well, if so, I wouldn't hold it against them. Sometimes parents have to make decisions knowing there's a possibility that the child may not survive and they're willing to take that chance.

Also, I would think it'd be a decision we'd make together, no?...Show more

I would not forget, but i would forgive. Its not his fault, he had good intentions. Its not like hes psychic and knew for sure death would happen. Thats what those type of decisions are. The outcomes are unpredictable....Show more

In my mind, I always would hold some blame, but I would forgive....Show more