I am not sure, and have spent the last 1-2 years really thinking about it.(G/B)?

Question

I dont know the best way to say it, and I feel weird even talking about this or admitting to it. I am 20 years old, and male.  I am a virgin, 100% i mean, no kiss, nothing.  I dont know why but growing up, ive always turned down any girl who has asked me out, without second thought, even if I thought they were cute or what ever. And I've actually only dated 1 girl and it was for 2 months.  but anyway the thing is, people have always called me gay or assumed I was gay, since as far back as i can remember, heck even my family makes jokes about me most likely being gay.  They call my best friend my boyfriend... and one time, they walked by my room and actually thought we were 'going at it'  ... The thing is, I dont know what I want... Physically speaking im attracted to females in every way. But when it comes to masturbating and such, the only porn i can even get off to is anal, and i always find myself thinking gay thoughts. I dont find men attractive in anyway, but i still have thoughts about Penis and sucking dick and taking it up the .. well you know.  On top of this, it doesnt help my case to say that I've worn girls clothing in private since about 8yrs old... and I've self experimented with toys anally ... it was ... just weird i cant really say what i thought because i dont really understand it,  I am really confused and have been for a long time, i just want to get this figured out once and for all.  I'm tired of being confused. and not understanding myself.

Id like to add, im in a position, where, I cant experiment openly at all for it would cost me my job, just think DADT and you will understand what I mean.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I get what you mean,I mean I have a Pen pal that lives in the country side & she is scared to death to come out, because they'll execute any gay acts or whatever, I live in the North West & I'm openly Gay,I can be myself without any judgment.

It sounds to me, like maybe your insicure about your sexuality, but Being Gay just means that your attracted to the same sex,thats it, it doesn't change the person you were before,people are just born naturaly Gay, & its 100% okay to be comfortable with your own sexuality

DocPawneshing · Answer

Have you thought about getting a girl to penetrate you anally with a toy? You seem like you are attracted to girls. I suggest getting into a serious relationship first though, before asking her to do something like that. And about the clothes, Metrosexual is very in right now.
It sounds like you need to get into a relationship with someone, not necessarily for the sex, but for the practice of being in one. It will help you grow as a person and figure out what you are about. DOn't be afraid to make mistakes! And the DADT thing? If you can't experiment with guys, start with the ladies.

Anonymous · Answer

I am sorry to hear that you are in job surrounded by official homophobes

For your case, I would say you are bi-curious, you say you like females (psychologically?) but your get turned on by males for their 'sexual' activities. You are bi-curious... now you can live virgin or go with a female, or if you go with a male you might lose your job. So be careful.

For DADT, I would say, it is same like being in a middle east country where if you revel your sexuality as non-straight, that will cost your life (death penalty), here in this country (Leader of the free world... lolwut?) if you say out your orientation, you will lose your profession... I hardly see any difference. 

I hope people will grow up faster.

Anonymous · Answer

you're not gay, if you're not attracted to men in any way. don't listen to people when they tease you about being gay, they're just messin' with you. people's remarks always have a huge impact on people, so be careful what you hear and believe. don't let people change you.

I am not sure, and have spent the last 1-2 years really thinking about it.(G/B)?

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