Am i capable of killing myself?

I get so lonely,sad & depress.I have never got to have a real childhood & teenage life.Am not free to live alone but am working on getting that freedom very soon.I have not seen my family & friends for 11yrs.One of my dearest friend i got lucky to make here killed himself about a month ago leaving behind his newborn & girlfriend.Am helping to look after them both.Yet i don't have any one i can call a friend or a best friend.It's not easy if you're living in a strange country trying to make a living to help your family back home.Am very beautiful list i have been told & known.I have been a model,i have been a movie extra in some famous movie here.I have a very good heart,am kind & loving.Am the type that when i walk in a room full of folks,i'll light up the place with love & kindness but yet i find it hard to make friends and why? Cuz i don't really have anyone to hang out with socially.My only friend that i always spend the new year & socialize with killed himself.Am 34yrs old but when you see me,i look like am 22 or 23.I work with babies now cuz i love them so mush.I don't do drugs,not ever committed any crimes than been a victim of WAR.15yrs of WAR,endured all the war crimes that was committed against me & so many innocent

2010-12-11T14:23:08Z

innocent others.I am a strong girl with a strong soul.I do believe in God but not been praying that mush for some yrs now.My QUESTION is,am i CAPABLE OF KILLING MY SELF? I need a friend so bad.I have come so far to give up,i don't give up that easily.I don't believe in taking my own life cuz it's not something we do where i come from but do i have it in me to do it with out knowing? Can i KILL myself with out knowing i can??????
Am a very social person,am sweetly wild & lots of fun to be with but yet i find myself alone with no one to shear my kind friendship with.I love to dance & go to ROCK concerts.I don't really believe there's true love out there for me,i have given up on that part of my life for a long time now cuz i might be strong in so many ways but not strong when it comes to a man breaking my hart.All i want is a good friend to talk to,socialize with,be there for them & them for me.Am 1meter 73 & i weigh 52kilos.

2010-12-11T15:11:08Z

i wanna thank you all for your help.Yes i do believe in God but not been around that area lately & sorry but don't really wanna go to that area right now,please do forgive me & thank you for praying for me.All i want now is a friend,that's all i want.A friend i can call on & talk too.

It's just not that easy going out on your own & making friends.
Am not gonna kill myself knowingly,i just wanted to know if i had it in me to do it.I know it's against everything i stand for & believe in.My friend that killed himself was the same,he felt the same way about suicide like i do,he did it with out living a NOTE or LETTER.Left us all asking why? That makes me afraid that if he could snap & hang himself,CAN I DO THAT TOO?All i want is a friend that's not gonna snap & kill them self. Am sorry,i know that i brought up RELIGION in my story but can we just keep it OUT. Forgive me please.All i want is a friend,i already got GOD,i just want a friend.So please & kindly no RELIGION.Thanks a lot for you

2010-12-11T15:14:45Z

I meant thanks a lot for your help & sorry about my bad spelling.

Mike2010-12-11T14:09:56Z

Favorite Answer

why would you want to kill yourself. you are just going through bad times. you shouldnt kill yourself just because you cant make some friends. you said that you light up a room full of people when you walk in. if you kill yourself these people will miss you. so think about it dont do it.

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dd k2010-12-11T22:19:59Z

Try going to a church, or any Vineyard or Calvary Chapel would be good. You'll make a friends and you can talk to someone about your problems.

Honestly, the modeling and acting scene in Hollywood is very unstable. Unless you are truly going to pursue it with all your heart, it can be hell. Despite the stories you hear, actors/actresses are rarely "discovered." They work their butts off to get "discovered." And even if you do get a break, it's rarely a long term thing. I think it would be better if you got a more regular job, like waiting tables or office assisting. It seems that there is a lot of free time on your hands. That is why you're in a constant state of introspection. Think about it: If you have THAT much courage to kill yourself, then you should have that much courage to do something with your life.

Edit: If you believe in God, then you have no "right" to kill yourself. You were made in the image of God. If you kill yourself, then you kill a part of His image. Essentially, killing/hating yourself is like saying you hate God. Most Christians believe that suicide will land you in hell even though you are a believer. Therefore, call out to God for help. He will hear you, and He will help you. He's been waiting for your prayer.

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Aria2010-12-11T22:41:25Z

Are you going to finish strong?

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ROXY2010-12-11T22:23:44Z

your situation is very complex, please see a professional to help you sort it all out,15 years of war would have a devastating effect on your life.you sound wonderful ,a little help could make all the difference.

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?2010-12-11T22:17:53Z

Well to be honest anyone can kill themselves if they really wanted to. But why would you want to? Life is good

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