I think i am surrendering my atheism but i dont know what to do?

I was raised with a sense of purpose, to look at life in the context of a bigger picture. dabbling in science and various religions such as buhhdism(which is a go big or go home kind of deal you can halfass that ive realized after talking to various buhhdists).

i was raised as a christian but was very influenced by science(we are just chemical being in an ocean of meaningless chaos). but i have sacrificed many things in the name of science such as my will to live. of course the age old question remains, what is the point without a certain god? i also miss my sense of belonging, to an idea place or time. i dont even want to get out of bed in the morning and go to college anymore, just slave away my time at a crappy job and smoke weed.

thats not me. i remember what life used to be like with a sense of purpose, of validity and it was beautiful. id say the biggest thing that i have given up is my ability to create. whats the point of art it nothing in this universe has validity? art is a very social human phenomena that requires(to me atleast) a sense of purpose and connection with people.

i just want to look at another person and believe were real and connect with them, with myself, with time and purpose. not just say "oh well were just chemical illusions it doesnt matter". my mind cant handle the shackles of the blank reason of a pointless void. my brain just does not have the cognitive functions to handle that, im a muse.

i think a lot of people who say they are athiests dont really feel the full extent of it, and that makes me angry, because i feel like a lot of them live in a fantasy world of rebellion, that atheism is a manifestation of their sense of rebeliion to whatever they detest. real athiesm is suffocating the the human psyche. i mean, we have a chemical spot in our brains that creates god, to counteract our wandering cognitive thoughts of what we are in this universe.

i dont know if i can commit to a religion though. I just cant believe in it. but i think i want to i just dont know at this point.

thanks for the help

2011-02-02T22:36:37Z

thor-ya i took the time out of my life to go on the internet, and write htis out as a pretend thiest just cause id get a kick out of your thoughtful responses. ooo im such a rascal!

2011-02-02T22:39:36Z

wow some of you people really are bringing the hate haha what happened to rationality. this is the last time i stray away from the philosophy forum.

Anonymous2011-02-02T22:26:52Z

Favorite Answer

"my mind cant handle the shackles of the blank reason of a pointless void. my brain just does not have the cognitive functions to handle that, im a muse."

Your problem is trying to destroy emotion. You can't. all of our reasoning is backed by emotion. If a guy dumps me, I say "I'm better off." But it might not be true. Surrender to your atheism on emotional grounds: that it feels good to be free of that delusion.

P.S. I went through the same thing myself. I think all atheists do, at some point. It will pass.

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Anonymous2011-02-03T06:29:29Z

I am in the same boat as you and you have beautifully and eloquently expressed how I feel inside but cannot accurately word. Yes, I agree with you- I believe the majority of atheists still subconsciously believe in a higher power and find subconscious satisfaction at spiting that being through atheism and non-belief. I am like you, however, and feel the full extent of no god because all of my being, subconscious and conscious, is convinced there is none. I feel the same way--what's the point if there's no point anyway. BUT, why does the brain NEED to believe in a higher power to function? Why is the human brain so thirsty for purpose? Maybe it's trying to tell us something?

10

Cassie <Subject Name Here>2011-02-03T06:31:25Z

"i dont know if i can commit to a religion though. I just cant believe in it. but i think i want to i just dont know at this point."

EXACTLY. And that's the problem, isn't it?
You cannot just *make* yourself believe in something. Sure, I agree, it would be ideal if there was a loving god out there. I would WANT there to be one. But I cannot just make myself THINK there is one, because my rational mind precludes it. If YOU find a way to consciously choose your own beliefs and opinions about such things, however, please tell me how you did it, because I would love to know, as it might sometimes come in rather handy.

Also: I am NOT an atheist because I want to rebel, thank you very much. And I do NOT feel as if my atheism is "suffocating my human psychce" either. Sure, I have my bad days and depressive periods. But I'm not caught up in some all-consuming nihilistic despair or anything.

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Frogdar2011-02-03T06:32:26Z

Sounds like college is dragging you down, might want to talk over general things with people. Yeah yea we are our brain, but all those chemical reactions sure are lively and thought provoking. Belief systems imho, only serve to make you happy. If being a whatever makes you happy be a whatever.

Just because we're a lumpy pile of goo in a skull doesn't make what we see and feel any less beautiful, horrible or whatever. It is what it is. We/our chemicals randomly decide what labels to put on everything.

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?2011-02-03T06:34:57Z

Your right. Without faith, what are we? Animals, chemical machines? To live as a human being we need faith. Our connection with god is what makes us think, otherwise we would be as self aware as a computer. God is everything that makes us human.
Most atheists are in a rebellion against, god which means the realize he exists. The few that are worship sciene as god. Others are just depressed, but God is there, he is always there.

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