i have a problem and am looking for some insight?

Question

most of my life i have known something was wrong with me and i have experienced psychosis and depression all my life at least at a mild degree and in high school i was reallyu depressed and when i went to college i barely lasted two semesters failed out and isolated myself then went to the mental hospital sent by my parents because noone could figure out why i almnost never ate and sat in a chair all day long terrified of leaving it. they did have suspicions because i told them how i had used acid and smoked a lot of pot during my stay at college. i went to a mental hospital for 2 weeks because that was all the insurance would allow and came out diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder i have had a lot of bad experiences with a host of docs over the years and finally got sent to a state institution where i spent 90 days and had the worst experience of all with the doctor and staff there. i have never been violent i always givbe my docs the benefit of the doubt. the problem is that whenever i try to be social it seems i sabotage myself with paranoid thoughts until i become overwhelmed and isolate myself for as long as it takes, which can be anywhere from months to years until it works itself out somehow and i start all over again. i have a working knowledge of various antidepressants and antipsychotics as i have been on dozens of them since i began my official career as a mental patient on my 21st bday all those years ago. this problem i have seems to be that i consciously and subconsciously sabotage my life into a life of fear and isolation. a vicious cycle that seems to be never ending. is there anyone out there with a similar type of experience or anyone with some ideas on breaking this cycle?

? · Accepted Answer

check out some of these links

http://www.findthelight.net/anxiety/break_the_cycle.htm

http://www.cognitivebehaviourtherapy.org.uk/guides/depression/vicious_circle

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

Anonymous · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

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i have a problem and am looking for some insight?

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