Sacrificing virgins to the volcano?

I live in Portland, Oregon. It is rated as the most promiscuous city in the United States. Its on the Cascadia Volcanic Range. Two volcanoes are visible from Portland including Mt. St. Helens, the most active volcano in the Cascadia range. If we need to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods what are we going to do?

?2011-10-21T19:52:23Z

Favorite Answer

Well, I would suggest a lottery system to make it fair. I suppose that if you really need a virgin for a sacrifice you could try your local Independent Baptist church first, and if that doesn't turn up a suitable virgin, you could try the elementary or primary schools next. I understand that traditionally the sacrifice is female, but if necessary I'm sure a virgin male would do.

Maybe the volcanoes would be satisfied with rum? Apparently that is one of Mama Pelee's favourite drinks, and Hawaiians often use it to calm down their volcanoes.

Maybe someone from Hawaii could help out on this?

Logic / Reason / Evidence2011-10-21T20:10:47Z

Attention all virgins in Oregon... visit Spock to loose your virginity NOW! It's better than being thrown into a volcano!

Godsproblemchild2011-10-21T20:04:13Z

I'm don't believe for one minute that they used the lottery system to do that.
They just threw in the fat chicks, And the nags, and the lesbians.

Anonymous2011-10-22T05:24:18Z

Virgin Britney Spears had sex with me