Would you read more? Do you like this story idea? Help!?

Sorry for my bad english Or grammar, im going To write this on my languange. Im only 14. I just wanna make sure my idea worths it. Its fantasy adventure type, about sea, myth creatures, demons, guardians, steampunk style. I had this idea yesterday so here it goes:

Long time ago, a guardian created a world made of peace, pure and all the Good things there were.
She created us, humans and she lOved us so much that all she Ever wanted was To let us live forever with her.
Those were only dreams. We quickly learned the feeling angry, then sadness, so as revenge, hurt and other bad feelings of ours. We started To get evil and out of control.
The guardian forgived our sins and grabbed everything that was bad inside of us ( as i already said The sadness, hurt, angry, etc...), created a portal To another world, and locked everything bad of us inside of it.( she locked the portal as well) (sorry if its confusing).
Years passed, and unfortunatly, our guardian got weaker and weaker and died. Her soul didnt want To leave us, so, her bright soul went To the sky, and the moon was created, and everyday when it gets dark, she illuminates the sky.
(...) humans started To die as well and Their souls went To the sky, allways near the guardian, so the stars were created.
( most of things must be keeped has a mystery, please dont get bothered if you dont understand)
FinallY: the portal To the other world, the world of our dark feelings, broke, and everything got messy, and confused, instead we getting Back has the normal humans ( full of bad feelings with only some Good feelings), others species were created. Some of them kept beeing pure, others changed, others became monsters ( and demons). No longer it was a peace world, everyone feared everyone. This IS what i have so far. Im so sorry for the bad grammar and english as well. Any questions, just ask gently xp. Did you understand? Did you liked it? Remember this IS just the legend. The TRue adventure story isnt this one!

Viktoria E2011-10-27T08:18:42Z

Favorite Answer

It reminds me a bit of the story of Pandora's Box (from Greek mythology). The point where you have this portal to another world where the bad things are locked. Otherwise you develop the plot differently, so it's ok. Maybe if you insert some concrete characters to it, that you haven't discribed yet, it will spice the story. Otherwise all I can say - go on and write it!

Anonymous2016-10-17T08:31:39Z

hi Justin! confident, people love fantasy. i could be out of your objective audience via now, yet I nonetheless discover your thought exciting. 12-14 is the proper age to marketplace fantasy to. much extra substantial than kind is how properly you write, and how sturdy your plot is. sounds such as you have have been given a sturdy thought, so all you're able to do is write it as properly as you are able to and see the way it is going. Novels are often around 50,000 words for that age team. counting on how at present you kind, it could take you many years to get it written and edited. i could advise writing out a plot synopsis in the previous beginning, as this could save you the discomfort of adjusting plot holes later. :) sturdy success!