Why do people get so huffy when posters correct them on YA Weddings?
We've all seen them: "I want a bridal shower & bachelorette party, but am eloping" or "I want only my family at the wedding, but a big blow-out reception" or "I couldn't afford a REAL wedding 3 years ago, so I want to have one now" And many of us try to correct these folks with their rude and etiquette-breaking thoughts, but they just get huffy about it. Is it that they were here looking for affirmation and are ticked off that they didn't get it? Or do they feel etiquette can apply to everyone but them? What do you think?
Kristy2011-11-10T06:39:29Z
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I feel that most people are looking for affirmation regarding plans they have already made or intend to make. I don't understand why anyone would post a question on a public forum and get angry or upset when they get answers they don't "like". Posting a question on a public forum and asking for the opinion of the masses will net you ALL kinds of answers, not just what you want to hear. That being said, I doubt most of these people come here looking for an honest opinion on their "re-do" wedding or their choice to feed 600 guests with only a $30 budget. They just want to hear how wonderful their idea is, regardless of who it might offend or leave hungry.
I wish they still taught etiquette in grade school...
It takes a special someone to even think of throwing their own gift-receiving bash in their own honour or to put on a fake wedding in which they place more meaning than their legal vows. These are not reasonable people to begin with, they have already demonstrated they have complete disregard for anyone but themselves, they don't care how their actions will make other people feel. I do believe they are just looking for affirmation, and there is usually that one answer that gives it to them and they get best answer and the asker moves on confident they are right and everyone else is wrong.
I also think etiquette is misunderstood. It, of course, being the rules we live by in order to show consideration and respect for those around us, it's often taken as being something outdated, that does not apply anymore and so the asker writes it off. However, manners do not go out of style. Etiquette is not a bunch of stiff rules we follow because our great-grandmothers said we should, etiquette has evolved, yes, but it always has come down to just being a good person.
I know if it were me...I would appreciate what the majority says and consider they might just be onto something. And if I still disagree, I would be respectful.
As others have already stated, they just want people to tell them that they are right because it makes them feel better about themselves.
It's actually one of the funniest things about Yahoo Answers to me, when someone asks something, and they sound SO sure that they are going to get nothing but positive answers telling them "Yes, it is okay to host your own shower even though you are eloping" or "Oh no, go right ahead and have a big do over wedding because you didn't like the colors you used at the first one" and then they get all huffy because we point out why that's rude and wrong.
I am not some die hard etiquette freak. Yes, there are some rules out there made for breaking, but then there are others that need to be followed. Unfortunately, the ones that NEED to be followed are the ones that folks on here seem so hell bent on breaking.
Of course people look for affirmation about their wedding planning ideas. Every woman thinks her wedding ideas are the best thing ever. I agree with you in certain aspects. Some questions I've seen in my short time on Y!A weddings are just silly. And I believe a vast majority of those silly questions are from trolls. However, there is a fine line between constructive criticism and being downright rude when you answer someone's question. For example...
"I don't think having a large scale wedding three years after you marry is a good idea. How about just inviting family over and having a gathering for your 3-year anniversary."
"That's stupid and a total waste of time. It looks like a total gift-grab! People may come to your wedding but they'll probably won't like it and laugh behind your back."
^^Which one is the better of the two? It's all relative depending on your attitude. But I like the first one better. I've seen many regulars on here (not saying any names) being very callous and rude when people just ask for a honest answer. You can give a your opinion without coming off as pompous and b!tchy.
They simply do not care about etiquette. They think that etiquette is an outdated rulebook designed to rain on their parade. Which we know is far from the truth. Etiquette DOES change with the times, and the purpose of etiquette is to avoid awkward moments for everyone involved. Etiquette is there to help.
They just do not care about etiquette, they only want others to indulge in their fantasies.