Sometimes my husband is mean to me and calls me names, to hurt me. Is it wrong of me to think of other people when I'm "with" him so I feel somewhat better. I know thats not cheating but is it still the same?I don't know what else to do when I feel so small, because of him. What should I do?
Sue C
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Honey, when he is calling you names he is verbally abusing you. As far as I'm concerned by you thinking of anyone else would not hurt a hill of beans! Of course it's not cheating, you're just getting your mind off the "abuse" he's doing against you...dream on & if it makes you happier, DO IT. IF by chane his abuse starts to escalate into other forms of abuse, I would strongly consider getting out of that marriage. An abuser IS a mentally sick minded person, I too well KNOW as I've lived with ALL the abuses including having to get Restraining Orders. Unfortunately abuse is no "stranger" to me!....the best to you...:)
Ocimom
Verbal abuse is a reason to end the relationship. Please read Abuse Survivors Speak Out by Patricia Evans. That book saved my life, sanity and gave me the courage to end the marriage.
I have to confess that when I was being abused, I did have an "imaginary" lover that was good to me - or I would have never gotten thru the bad times.
Smitty
Both of you should go to a marriage counselor, this is verbal abuse which is exactly why you feel the way you do. If he is not willing to get help then start thinking about getting yourself some help to move on.
Anonymous
What you should to is determine the reason that you choose to remain in a relationship that is detrimental to your self-esteem without doing anything to restore your peace of mind.
Anonymous
No it's not JJ,
But get yourself out of that horrible relationship asap!
Life is too short for spousal abuse, you deserve much better.
It will only get worse !!