I need a second opinion... (Really long. I'm sorry.)?
Ok, so I have been dating this guy for over a year now and he wants us to get married. The problem is this: I really don't get along with his family. I can if I need to for the most part but I would rather never see or hear from him mom again since she is an alcoholic and has threatened me and my family before. Also, he doesn't even have his own place yet and I'm still in college. It doesn't make sense to me to marry someone if we'll still have to stay in two separate houses.
Aside from those major problems, there are a few little things that bother me a lot. :/ I feel guilty that they bother me so I don't even want to talk to him about it most of the time. Every time I do talk to him about something I try to be as calm as possible and say things in a way that isn't offensive at all but he still gets very angry with me. He's called me a ***** a few times and said that I don't support anything he wants to do, which isn't true considering that I've given him the money to do almost everything he wanted to do since he didn't have a job at the time to do it.
Anyways, some of the little issue I have are as follows:
1) He is WAY into cars. Like that's literally all he ever talks about. He's always talking about something he wants to buy for his car, or another car that he wants to get one day, or how he wants to but this engine in that car and yada yada ya. I like cars too, but I also like to talk about something more meaningful than tightening a bolt. I feel like he's putting way more effort into cars than anything else, even our relationship.
2) I've done a lot for him in the past and still do to this day. He always says thank you and that he appreciates it, but it's not often that I ever get anything in return. I don't really expect anything honestly, but it would be nice to get a flower or some chocolates every once in a while. He never seems to consider the things I want or need because he's too busy worrying about his cars.
3) He leaves his things all over my floor in my apartment on campus, even after I JUST clean my room. I've told him before that I wanted him to pick up after himself more and he got mad and said I sounded 'just like his dad'. It really bothered me because he never has anything nice to say about his parents so I really didn't like being compared to him.
4) I want him to get his priorities straight. Like he'll say he wants to get his own place but he won't really plan on how he's going to go about doing it then he'll turn right around and spend money on something for his car like a new sound system or he'll talk about how he plans to have a new car by summer. I don't know, it makes me feel like he's not really responsible because he won't do what is rational and more practical. I find myself bailing him out of situations a lot.
5) I really don't want anything to do with his family right now. It's still and open wound basically. I don't really want to get into detail about what they did but I apologized for any trouble I may have caused and I haven't heard a single "I'm sorry" from anyone of them for anything. He wants me to go see him mom and I really REALLY don't want to. He gets mad when I say that I don't want to and that I'm not going to. I can understand why, because that is his mom, but I wish he would be more understanding of why I won't
Please don't get me wrong, he is a very good person. I know it doesn't seem like it after everything I've said but I don't think he realizes what he's doing when he does it. He gets his temper from his mom I know and he's not as bad as she is. He's been working on it I've noticed. But I mainly blame this on the fact that he's never really had a real relationship before so I don't think he knows what compromise and sacrifice means yet. He still doesn't know how to do for others, right now it's just "me, me, me" to him. I don't know. I guess I just want some practical and well thought out advice from a third party. Thank you in advanced. I'm just confused on how I should handle this relationship.