A one person horse / very depressed horse?

Question

So I've been away from home since October. When I left, my horse was a sweet, calm, anyone-can-ride sort of horse. I've had him since he was 3 (he's 9 now) and he's always been a bit protective of me, and always had a little trouble getting along with people who weren't me. 
Anyone, my mom has been taking care of him for me and riding him. I went home in December, and he was a little more antsy that he used to be. The first couple rides he was very fired up and and just wanted to MOVE. But after a couple rides like that, he went right back to being my usual angle of a horse. I was only home for 2 weeks though. 
I haven't seen him since December and my mom says he's just getting worse. Other people at the barn tell me he seems depressed. He's started chewing wood, bucking, rearing, etc. My old trainer had been giving my mom lessons on him, and riding him herself several times a week. But it seemed like every week he would just go downhill. 
He finally got to the point where my mom was afraid to ride him. They just say he seems upset. 
I had him checked by a vet, got his teeth done, everything. He's like a little child lashing out. 

I mean, I always knew he had a special "bond" with me, but can a horse really get this attached to one person that they get depressed for this long? Nothing else has changed in his life. And he went back to normal when I visited, but as soon as I left again he was just worse. 
I feel horrible and guilty, but there's nothing I can do. I'm going home in 6 weeks for a 2 week visit and then moving to Illinois. And within a few weeks of that I'm having him shipped to Illinois to be with me.  So it'll end soon. 
Until then he's been turned out to a big pasture with other horses. 

Is there anything else I can have them do? I've never had to deal with a depressed horse, Peanut has always been a very happy, loving, and VERY trustworthy horse. 

Ugh I feel so guilty over this :(

Driver · Accepted Answer

So how's the army?  Are you at Ft. Meade or Aberdeen?

How is he when your trainer rides him?  If he's better for her than your mom, then it could just be your mom's style or lack of experience.

If you're pretty sure the reason is because he only wants to deal with you, and since there's only a couple of months before you ship him to Illinois, it's probably best to just turn him out.  Have your mom come give him some attention, and have your trainer ride him once or twice a week.  It won't take you too long to get him back in shape once you have him with you, and he probably won't get any worse if they don't demand too much of him.

Tasha · Answer

There's really nothing anyone can do. The only way to bring him back to life and be the same happy horse he's always been, is to be with you. If he's not losing weight then he's doing better than you think. Sometimes when horses are longing to see someone they can work themselves up into quite a stressful state and end up losing weight regardless of what they're fed. Just like us, stress can have a massive impact on their body. So he's doing better than what he could be. 

I don't know if it's a good idea having other people ride him since that is probably reminding him that they're not you, which could be why he's acting out. I think letting him spell is the best thing you could do for him now. Let him be a horse and bring him back into work in Illinois once he's comfortable, stable, and trusting of you. I'd be aware that he'd be expecting you to leave again and it may take a little while for to him to trust you not to. 

It's going to be hard until you move him to Illinois, but there's really nothing anyone else can do about it. As hard it will be, you'll need to just wait it out for the next couple of months. 

All the best.

Bliss · Answer

I'm guessing that he'll be happier out with the other horses than stalled. At least he'll have the herd dynamics and activity to think about instead of moping and missing you while he's bored in the stall all day.

I always make a point to find some outdoor boarding situation for my horses, even if it's no more than a small run, like 10x20 I think one place was. At that one, she shared one 20' side with another horse and they could reach across for mutual grooming, etc. I think stalling is one of the worst practices of modern horsekeeping, in terms of the ill effects on the horse.

Sorry to digress from your concern. Peanut will be much better off in the pasture in many ways, and I think it will alleviate some of the "missing Mom blues" too. Ask your Mom or trainer to go check on him, bring him in and see how his attitude is after some time out with the herd.

Horses are tough in so many ways. He'll bounce back and forgive you when you both live in the same place again and you can be there for him.

HorseGurl22 · Answer

The only thing that comes to my mind is to try to find someone who is willing to spend A LOT of time with him. I would think if they see him for a hour or two every day he would start to bond with them or at least enjoy the attention. Have the same one person give him a complete grooming and then ride him. Also make sure they just spend time with him...maybe walk him around and let him graze and give him treats. Sounds like he is just bored and has a hard time trusting people that don't spend much time with him? Sounds like a difficult situation. I hope he goes back to his old self when he is shipped to you.

XFR TED · Answer

I have  2 yes old gelding J J I've had him since he wss 3 months old. If I do not see him for more than 2 days he looks sad and if he could cry. He has  also taken to nipping my wife which I put down to him asserting himself. However bad behaviour is being nippid in the bud. If I am present he even checks I am not looking when he nips my wife on thearm

A one person horse / very depressed horse?

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