Classical music poetry: I've written some limericks, how about you?

Question

A limerick, as a refresher, has two lines that rhyme (usually with seven to ten syllables), two lines that rhyme differently and are shorter, and a final line that rhymes with the first two. They're usually funny. For instance:

There once was a lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.

Who is feeling creative? :) With a little thought, these aren't that hard (choosing easily rhyming words helps, and close rhymes count). Or you can take one off the internet, as long as you say it isn't yours. Here are mine:

The German sixth said to Italian
I know you're no dominant seven
But no need to moan
You're missing a tone
But German said, you were in Beethoven.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augmented_sixth_chord#German_sixth

In the midst of a concert by Liszt
Came from the crowd a great hiss
They turned all around
To hear the harsh sound
Of Brahms snoring, completely in bliss.

del_icious_manager · Accepted Answer

I'm no good at writing such things, but I've cribbed a few over the years:

Beethoven, the great Ludwig van
Was one very handicapped man,
'Cause if you're a chef
You don't mind if you're deaf,
But composers should hear, if they can.

A young Russian man, Rostropovich
Confided to Lydia Mordkovich,
"When me and my band
By the critics get panned
We blame it all on Shostakovich."

Here's another Liszt one:

There was a composer called Liszt
Whom the ladies just could not resist.
His masterful playing
had them them sighing and swaying
To the sounds from his fingers and wrist.

Ravel wrote Bolero in C,
And it mostly remains in that key,
But near the conclusion
Amid some confusion
It modulates suddenly to E.

This is one of my favourites:

There was a composer named Glass,
There was a composer named Glass,
There was a composer,
There was a composer,
There was a composer named Glass .

powel · Answer

Limericks About Music

Michael B · Answer

Most of the best limericks are in a single key: rude major. Not pornographic, not seductive: just vulgar jokes. If you modulate, you risk boring the audience. Since we are into classical music: a lady who accompanied me (on piano, not to a nightclub) told me this one years ago:

There was a young fiddler from Rio
Went to bed with a flautist called Cleo.
As she pulled off her panties
She exclaimed; "No andantes -
We'll conduct this allegro con brio."

There are others along the same lines.

Joseph · Answer

On this one, Del deserves Best Answer.

I just wanted to say that you might like the musical composition titled "Naughty Limericks" by Rodion Schedrin.

suhwahaksaeng · Answer

These aren 't great, but they're the best I could do:

There was a composer named Pachelbel
Who wrote us a canon which sounds like hell
For it hoards and it hoards
The same eight basic chords
Till we wish we could send him to Taco Bell.

There was a composer named Gluck
Who by some incredible fluke
Took counterpoint class
And managed to pass
Not knowing a page in the buke.

There was a composer named Bach
Whose work was as solid as rock.
Along came Stokowski,
Revising and howski
Until it was nothing but schlock.

There is a composer named Cage
O'er whom the mass media rage.
He gimmicks invents,
To reporters presents
To announce on the magazine page.

A hymn was composed for Fortuna.
And was sung by the Roman kahuna
And because of its flair
Is now heard everywhere
In all points between here and Altoona.

Classical music poetry: I've written some limericks, how about you?

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