how to go insane? please help...?

Question

ok, so I want to go insane. 
I may be partially there already and I am NOT looking for jokes. I have at least mild depression, though my mom wont take me to see a doctor, I've been depressed since I was 8. 
I fall 'in-love' way to easily. in other words I get a boy who treats me nice and we get along great and then I fall...which really sucks.
I don't want to be able to trust, but I end up letting that go. I want to be anorexic, mostly because I have had rocks thrown at me, just for being fat, and was harrassed three years about it.
I dont want to live. I'm not saying I want to die anymore, but I wouldn't mind it. I think death is better than life, it's either your gone and theres nothing, or you go to heaven and theres a better nothing. 
I want to cut. I don't want to live in reality, I feel like reality is just a prison, something that holds you back too often. 
so yes, I may be half way there.
please do not tell me to get a hold of drugs because I can't. 
please do not joke around.
please do not accuse me of lieing.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

listen to some hardcore music, think of all the depressing things you have faced and overcome, and try cutting
mourn for everything you see. then you will go insane

Anonymous · Answer

You are not insane. You are having difficulties coping and this seems to be connected to your weight- and why would it not be since you have had rocks thrown at you for being 'fat' and you have been harassed for quite some time about your weight.
That is one issue you are dealing with.

You also say you fall in love too easily, that is not surprising since you feel so unloved and unloveable.We all want someone to love us and we a lll make mistakes in love, you are not alone in that.
 
So you  have two issues.

You do sound depressed and you have said why this is. Anyone would be given the same circumstances.

No one knows what will meet us when we die. 
Do you have a doctor you can talk to or is there a kids helpline you could call if you are not old enough to go to the Docs yourself? Where are you? If you are in Australia where I am then you could call Barnardos who will give you the help you need  and point you in the right direction.
We have all experienced pain and rejection in our lives and believe me we can learn to handle the problems life throws at us.
I wish you the very best of luck.

&lt;3 · Answer

ugh. i don't understand why every kid with neon hair is always so angry at the world. lets see what i can come up with.

i've never heard someone say they WANT to go insane so i can't help you there.
i know you can't control your feelings for another person but maybe take into consideration that it's possible to be friends with a boy without wanting to marry him.
there's a difference between being anorexic & being skinny but healthy. i'm pretty sure if someone with a real anorexia problem read that, they would want to beat you with a hammer. 
next time someone throws a rock at you, throw a chair back.

good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

you have "mild depression" but youve never seen a dr? sorry, but self diagnosis doesnt count hun. and i have NEVER met anyone who wants to be anorexic or insane, talk about wanting attention.

kristy t · Answer

Blah I know how u feel in the same position

how to go insane? please help...?

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