Please help..What does this mean? What should I do?
My bf is in the army serving in Kuwait right now..he has been over there since dec Our relationship was something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie/book he is very romantic and tells me all these sweet things..like he wants to marry me..make me happy..take care of me and my 19 month old son..making all these promises to me..He was a guy I never thought existed
. He comes home in three weeks..we skype all the time and a week ago he was telling me loves me..im his everything and he cant wait to come to me..then out of nowhere he sends me a facebook messege saying he is scared and freaking out about coming home to me that he cant handle it...he says he thinks he rushed everything with me and now wants to start over and take things slow and when he comes home see where it goes..but he doesnt want to throw me away? WTF? Idk...if its bc he is over there or what? now he is saying his feelings hasnt changed..that all we are doing is starting over fresh and taking things slow..not a break up..so eveything that has hapened or said is over and doesnt mean anything? Im just confused..hurt and feel like Im on his hook..wha do u think?
Indigo2012-06-05T10:01:19Z
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Oh my gosh, you must feel so worried about him in Afganhistan. I honestly think he just got into a little panic about coming home and said those things because he just hasn't been used to being with you and got a bit overwhelmed, but I don't think you need to worry too much, he is coming back for you at the end of the day! He will still want to marry you and of course make you happy, his feelings won't have changed, he will grow to love your son. He just needs some space, to get used to the changes he is going to face whilst been back at home and then you two can plan whatever you want together. Good luck! :) Don't worry trust me its not as bad as it seems.
I think the problem is just a mental thing. I'm not calling him crazy. What I mean is it just all in his head. Maybe he was flirting with you and caught in that moment. Like if you're so happy and you would be in so much joy in that moment. But then the next day that feeling might be gone and you'd be back to normal. So I think that is what happened when he told you all those things. And he went too far with it. So now he somehow realized that and was like "oh my god, I said too much things that I shouldn't say yet..." I think he likes you very much. I think he's just not ready for marriage or other serious things yet. I think you should forgive him because he probably got caught in the moment so he said things that he wasn't ready to stand up to it yet. I'm glad that he realized actually. Do you know that a lot of people rushed into marriage because of "the feeling of the moment?" And they got divorce shortly after. That's why it's important to take things slow and to be 110% sure of everything.
It could be just cold feet... I can remember when I was expecting a baby, and I was SO excited and aboue 2 hours after the birth, I had a sudden feeling of panic, like ''what have I done?'', ''I'm not ready for this'' etc... and maybe thats whats happened here. Just let him come home peacefully, don't demand answers, don't act hurt, because it is just a natural response to what is a big leap for him.. I think after a day or two, he will relax and everything will fall into place.
hmmm i think thats odd, but i think also think that it is important to find out why the sudden change of heart. maybe he has experienced something frightening while serving, which has not really made him rethink his future with you, but to take more care and nourish what you have. then again i could be wrong. dont feel alarmed by my writing of this, but maybe he made a mistake while he has been away, and wants to start over with you. you will never know until you ask him :))
This is actually very good readjustment advice. It was even in the Doonesbury Gulf War series. Take it slow with him, it's not about you, it's about him.