Wife and Husband - Wife refusing sex...?

Question

I remember watching this from the speaker Zakir Naik. 

He was referring to the Hadith about if the wife refuses to have sex with the husband, then the angels will curse her till the morning. 

(Question: What about men who refuse to have sex with the wife, why isn't there an Islamic document that says something negative about men who do this?)

Zakir Naik said that (which I think is twisting it and I didn't believe it):

a) The women will be cursed by the angels
b) The man will not be practising patience

And one of the requirements for Paradise is Patience. so he concludes that, if the man wants sex but the wife refuses then he should have patience because if he doesn't then they will BOTH BE 'DOOMED' (she will be doomed because she's cursed by the angels and he will be doomed because he did not practise patience, while patience being one of the criteria for paradise).

So to avoid all this DOOMING, they should 

a) not let the angels curse her (so if she doesn't want to, then he shouldn't get mad)
b) he needs to be patient

Is it me or is this twisted FAR too much?

(p.s. the word he used was definately not doomed and please answer my other question in brackets)

Ahmad A · Accepted Answer

If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys him, then he should follow this method of admonishing her, forsaking her in bed and hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this means that it should not cause pain...that means no bruises, no marks left behind, no twisting of limbs, no blood, you cant make her face ugly, you cant cause pain. 

‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator] 

The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her. 

And Allaah knows best.

brownkisser · Answer

i think the idea that spouses should not refuse sex to each other for futile reasons is a good idea. we can keep that kernel of truth for today and discard the sexism of yesterday

Anonymous · Answer

That hadith applies to the husband and wife. Neither can refuse sex unless for a good reason i.e. fatigue, illness.

? · Answer

The hadith is talking about women who refuse to have sex for no good reason.

Anonymous · Answer

Zakir naik? the scholar who made the 25 mistakes in 60 mins?

Umm isa · Answer

Because Allah knows best. I think in a relationship if u both u understand each other then things should be alright.. I think that Hadith refers to an angry husband rather than a husband who accepts the refusal.. Allahu alim. I think it's ok to say no if ur tired etc.. But if the husband keeps trying then a woman shouldn't refuse him.

And what has refusing a wife got to do with patience?

Wife and Husband - Wife refusing sex...?

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