I Found Something I Started...?

I found something I started a long time ago. I've edited it up and re-written parts of it, so it doesn't seem so...Childish. Take a look and tell me what I missed?

"May I?" I asked softly, reaching out to him.

Sebastian nodded once, biting his lower lip and gulping. He was barely holding back tears, and was covered in blood.

"Hey, it's okay. It's going to hurt me more," I said. "The worst it will do, for you, is tickle, I promise."

His eyes went wide, and he released his lip to open his bloodied, but otherwise perfect mouth. Not giving my most recent charge a chance to change his mind -or ask any questions-, I pressed my left palm to his heart and closed my eyes.

I mouthed the words that I knew like the back of my hand. My heart gave that familiar lurch as I stopped breathing, going absolutely still.

I felt my own warmth, love, and happiness flooding out of me, and into him. Mixing, healing, completing.

I pulled my hand back with a gasp and ran my fingers through my hair, even as I was sinking to my knees.

"Hey, Phoebe," he said. "You okay?"

I nodded, even as my vision was going grey with funny little dots. I slumped forward, using my arms to brace myself and barely keep my face and torso off of the blood splattered sidewalk.

"Let me help you," he said.

"No, I'm fine" I said stubbornly. I hesitated. "Do you happen to have any chocolate on you?"

He arched his beautiful, dark brown eyebrow, his thin lips quirked upwards in a slight smile.

"Only you would want candy at a time like this."

I shrugged, and doing a face plant made me realize that that probably wasn't my best idea. Quickly sitting up wsn't a smart one either. The world was spinning, and my head was pounding. Sebastian had sat down in front of me, cupping my face and making me look at him.

"Yeah, well," I tried, my voice failing me.

His eyes were the perfect shade of green and his skin was tanned just right. The blood seemed to have just disdisappearedut I expected that.

He was healed.

By me.

That's great.

I managed a loplopsidedile, and then my brain decided it was time to turn off to do its best at trying its hand in healing me.

When I came too again, after what seemed like only moments, SebSebastians leaning over me. However, now he had two hands on my face, and he was blubbering like a child. Repeating my name over and over, his voice cracking.

"Jesus," I managed as I sat up and pulled him into me, hugging him close. Too comfort him, I told myself. "I'm fine, Sebastian."

"Phoebe!" He exhaled in relief. "I thought you were gone."

I shrugged. The more healing I had to do, the more it drained me. He almost died, which meant that I had to almost die. And, if he did die, so would I, after healing him. And, I would heal him. Of that I had no doubt. When an Angel dies, they don't come back. Some stupid rule or something. We go into limbo. No more chances. Just gone. Sooner or later, we simply cease to exsexistIn any form.

"Please, don't do that to me again."

"I can't make any promises."

"If it came to a choice of my life or yours, pick yours, damnit. People need you. Can you promise me that, at least?"

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies."

2012-07-19T18:17:05Z

Sorry about any typos, I tried to fix them, but something must've messed up.

"SebSebastians" is supposed to be "Sebastian was."
"ExsexistIn" is supposed to be "exist in."

I think those are the major errors that I got trying to use the spell check here. If you notice anything else, point it out?

2012-07-19T18:18:46Z

"Loplopsidedile" is supposed to be "lopsided smile."

Bryan K.2012-07-19T21:10:13Z

Favorite Answer

I'm going to be honest: I got the wrong idea about this story when I first started reading it. Thought it was erotica, then it turned into X-Men. Although... if you write fan-fiction, that could work to your advantage. LOL Nah, I'm kidding. I did enjoy this, even if you thought it sounded childish.

Thank you, by the way. Your earlier answer on my "Going Too Far?" question helped me remember the most basic tenet of creative writing: "No Limits"

Sam2012-07-20T01:15:41Z

I like it.

Very well written. Few typos (not intentional I can see) but other than that, it's great.

Keep going! I want to read more.

Melissa2012-07-20T02:52:01Z

I agree with everyone, I liked it.
But I was still a little confused, what is she? Why can she heal?

Anonymous2012-07-20T01:16:59Z

I really don't know what it is about beside you healing someone.... but it is interesting..

?2012-07-20T01:21:01Z

That was SOOO GOOD! it made me honestly want to read the whole thing! (I'm not kidding!) keep on writing :) Can you please answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120719181139AAXv7Fl

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