Can I ask of you, complete strangers, why I should not end my life?
I shall give a brief summary as to why I feel the need to do so. My main reason is that I am 580 dollars in debt for being unable to pay my rent and utilities for this and the upcoming month, and I have no one able to give me a loan or charity. I am unaware as to what will happen when I cannot give my brother and my other roommate my third of the share. To add to this, I have no form of income via job or federal aide. I have been looking for a job for a month after being fired from one before I even worked there for a month. I have deemed it logically more financially sensible to simply sell my possessions to get enough for a firearm and ammunition as is would be less than the 580 I need for my bills. Secondly, my personal relations with people are fading away more and more every day. I have virtually no contact with my best of friends as they all live relatively far away from me as I have no car or ability to pay others for gas. When I do contact them, the subject of "how is life/how are you" always comes up, which leads to a situation explanation followed by "I wish I could help, sorry." I can't be with the woman I love because she doesn't love me back for the simplest of terms. I have already attempted to take my life 7 times in the past, with knives and drowning being my unsuccessful methods. Depression is an everyday battle for me and I can't even fight back anymore.
So I ask of you, complete strangers as my friends cannot provide me a logical explanation as to why, I should not end my life?
Please take note as the last time I asked I was unsuccessful in finding an answer- I see a psychologist and take anti-depressants. I need reasons, not hopes. I live in a low-income area, financial aid simply doesn't exist. I wouldn't have such a hard time dealing with life if my financial issues go away, but no one can help with that. I'm simply choosing death over torture. I need answers, not comparisons. I don't need to know what you or someone you know went through, I need the simple truth of what directly happened (not what God did) that got them out. Also, I am atheist. God cannot save me otherwise he would give me the money I need or an alternative life without having to believe. So please leave deities out of your answer. Thanks.
Ginny2012-07-21T21:57:52Z
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580 is not that bad! try being 21 and $4000 in debt! you have too much to live for. your family, friends, future family, anybody that cares about you would be heart broken. things always work themselves out. take any job you can get. apply everywhere! my bf couldnt find a job but he finally got one. yeah he hates but, but it brings in just enough mo ney. you willk get there. youll just have to work at it and ending your life wont solve any problems. good luck
Well examining what U have said -work -beliefs - attempts - money - sharing - people U live w/ If U had a chance & a reason to stay human U have to find it.. Because so far what U said - & the restrictions U have put on What U want for a reply Is very limited to U making Ur own reason for living ... U have to find why U should go on living- learning experiencing - helping others - this world is for education of U through this body that can feel & experience all the emotions possible - which can include what U think is a solution- Ur own demise- Why didnt the other 7 times Not work for U? What have U learned about the failures &* what happened during the in-between times?? Re examine What U have experienced & learned - I know this life is a challenge in survival So Can U do it or NOT? What Challenges have U put others through Because of what U have done to them?? Have U saved anyone from doing what U want to do? Do U want to Help others get over the hump of what has been a challenge to U ??? Because now U can explain to them Because Now U know about this feeling & U can help other get over the same problem.. There are others out there Who feel Just as U do.. Many go through this it is part of the challenge like a puzzle to be solved... I have been there -& done that - Now here i am for U... U want to live then --- First tell Ur roommates Ur issues & ask for help if U want to make things right till U can pay them back - & keep Ur word too.
For a start ignore the douche bag that gave an answer. Trust me I know what its like to be stuck in situations, I get anxiety, I feel clustered and I just way it to all go away. Never forget your not the only one that has went through these kinds of situations and made it out ok. This is what I do, and I think you should too. Get a note note book. Make a list sectioned of in issues related to the money.get specific, list the specifics of were each payment goes or is needed for.ok now make a list of ways you can make money and what you can do until then. Let's assume you're Scott broke in a house or an apartment. All you have is a computer, the fire arm you bought, and a phone or some sort of contract device weather its your email or whatever. Think of a place you could stay for a while such as your parents, an in or just anything. Look up on the internet where you can stay for fee in your location. If you have no transportation, walk there. I don't have a vehicle, I walk wherever I need to go, so so can you. Now look for jobs hiring on the internet and print or applications. you don't have a printer, go to the places. When you turn in an application rite down the job, manager, and number b and location. call each place once a day.blow up there phone because why would they hire someone who doesn't seem so job needy. This is a side money idea that I do, and that's surveys. it takes a long time and it sucks but that money can be of help. I use threes sites. Survey savvy, send earnings ( you get payed just for the emails they send you that have a reef bottom at the bottom and you click out of it and it takes you to a suite were it probably advertises and asks for you to register but all you have to do is go back and your automatically payed) and cash crate which is like send earnings but worse in a way lol. Keep a jar and fill it with any penny our change you find or the change you get back from something you buy. Even that penny in the corner of the sewer gate.you get the point. And I mean the change thing literally. Ok now return that fire arm. Any money you get put it somewhere safe and don't spend a penny of it. And just try and keep your self organized and come up with ideas. If you like drawing, there are places you can take your drawing and get paid for. If you can sing sing on the street, someone will pay to listen. Or whatever your talent is. Now once you bugged the hell out of the managers for your job you should have one and for now on keep track of things and keep them organized. Don't rely on others when it comes to housing and work. Trust me, don't buy or live in something that you can't buy and pay you're self without help of Others. Find a place whet you can pay the bills first and have money left over for food. If you run low on food money buy LOTS of rice and noodles, they are your best friend. I would cut internet out of my bill. Its a lugery not neccecity. If you can't return you fire arm at least use it for protection and don't be stupid. You shouldn't kill yourself because there is always a better way. You just have to want it to see it, and once you see it or find that help, don't turn it down just because its long and crazy. If your not willing to go the distance then why worry and feel anything because then you obviously never cared. Well I just wrote my first book. Don't give up.
Wow. I am very sorry. I hope that things improve for you. I honestly have no idea what you should do as I am only a fourteen year old boy. I don't even know what to say here. I can hope (and pray, which I will do for you even though you do not think it will help. Sorry.) that you will find answers and that at least some of your problems will be solved and you will enjoy living again. I guess I can say keep trying to push through this very hard time for you. My cousin committed suicide a few months ago and it scarred me for life. I know if you kill yourself people will miss you and weep for you, and I do not think that is the solution. Sorry I don't have any real answers. Just realize that people do care about you. I am a complete stranger and I am doing a lot in hopes that things will get better for you. Good luck.
The $580 and bills: Call friends or family and beg for a loan and tell them you'll pay them back when you're back on your feet. Try to go to a group or something about a thing you enjoy and try to make some friends for support. Keep looking for a job.
If you think the darkness is too much, then go for it...But if there is even a chance a glimmer of some light or hope, then don't you think it is worth taking a chance?
I hope you don't do it. Have a decent life or afterlife or whatever. Goodbye.