My best friend is a really sweet girl, but her habits are pissing me off?

Question

So my best friend is really sweet, and nice. I actually have a little bit of a thing for her. But recently I've noticed her doing things that are utterly and frankly excruciating in the true sense of the word. 
For one, in the past few weeks I noticed she goes out of her way to greet everyone with hugs and warm remarks. Except me. I'm lucky to get a hi. In fact she'll leave me to go say hi to someone and then go about her business like I was never there in the first place. 
Secondly, she constantly bails on plans. Over summer, we made plans ten times: 8 she postponed until never, and two she was an hour+ late for. Her response diminished from 'I'm so sorry!' to 'Don't worry, it'll happen one day.' Sometimes it wasn't her fault, but she always chooses the last minute to tell me. Like one is for tomorrow at 8am, and she just now let me know, and she made the plans with someone else after we made ours and ditched mine! She making a point to put other people over me, her best friend! When she does come, she invites other people or changes the time without letting me know. Ridiculous. Isn't there courtesy anymore?
Lastly, I always let her know what I'm going through and she helps me work through it, and I was under the impression that we were similar in this. But now she's bringig stuff from ages ago out of the blue like we talked, and we haven't. Like we'll be sitting in class, and she'll be like 'D'you remember when my mum abandoned my family three months ago?' and I'm like 'Uh... No?!'
I feel like she's decided my friendship is a given thing and that she can just do whatever she wants with me. Like I really loved her, but now, I'm for sure ready to pursue other love-interests. I still do love her, just not that way. 
I want to know how to approach this gently. She's actually very sensitive and has a lot of family and abandonment issues, so I need to do it without ripping her a new one. But it is serious to me, and it should be to her.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

just communicate with her. tell her how you feel about the way she is acting. 90% percent of problems can be solved if you just communicate with her instead of putting it off. TELL her that what she is doing is annoying you. Don't be rude or anything just tell her gently how you feel.

GURLnextDOOR · Answer

U know I have the same problem but only difference I'm 14 and I don't love my best friend in tht way cuz we both be girls. Ok so what I would reccomend is to get her to feel bad aabout the realtionship (always works so they don't blame u) or just distance urself until she's liek dude what's up then tell heer something like u havnt excacly beenn around lately and I'm tired of waiting and u never showing up"but say so in a nice calm voice like it is what it is attitude. then like walk away and let her approach u later and that's when u two can both really talk.

? · Answer

There is no gentle, tell her how you feel and rip her a new one. It is the only way she'll take you seriously. However, she is not treating you like a friend, but as luggage. If she doesn't change, dump her and move on. Life is too short to put up with this type of behavior. A rotten past does not give a person the right to be an ******.

Anonymous · Answer

From you're description of her she sounds like one of those people who start out nice, then evolve into a douche as time goes on. If it were me I would do the exact same thing back to her, but you don't seem like the kind of person to take that kind of approach.

If you want to try to salvage the relationship maybe you could just try to spend more time with her, don't make a big deal out of things, maybe call her up one day and just hang out for a little while?

However, if you really want to break it off just stop spending time with her, go do things with other friends, don't invite her, don't even tell her. It isn't like you guys are going out currently is it? You don't need to make a big deal out of it. No need to take her aside one day and say, "Hey, you're being a ******, we aren't friends anymore so stop hanging around me!" If you don't want to be her friend anymore just casually draw distance between you two.

? · Answer

I know how much it sucks, If i was you, i would stop completely making plans with her and even talking to her. Wait until she decides to do something with you and then bail on her a few times. And until she wants to have a serious conversation with you, you should tell her how you felt these past days. Some people take others for granted. thinking you will be there forever. Show her that you wont be there forever and she should appreciate you.

My best friend is a really sweet girl, but her habits are pissing me off?

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