Need boyfriend advice?

Question

Alright, so I'll start from the very beginning. Freshmen year we met and we liked each other but I think we were just too immature to be in a relationship. We had continued to be friends and mostly just text each other until last April, junior year. He asked me to prom. I said yes. We had a great time. We went on a date and then became boyfriend/girlfriend. We had our first kiss on the second date. It's been going pretty well. Around other people I feel like it's kinda awkward, but when we are alone it's great. I think we are both pretty shy. 
Our relationship is pretty sexual. Whenever we are alone together we fool around. Speaking in terms of bases, we are kinda in between 2nd and 3rd. I am not sure how I feel about going to 3rd quite yet. I know he wants me too, but he said he doesn't want me doing anything I'm not comfortable with. I think I want to do it, but I'm nervous and worried I'd mess up or something. Also, I don't want to always fool around whenever we are alone. How do I tell him that without hurting his feelings? Or how do I even bring that up? 
Also, I run as my sport. I do cross country and track long distance. He jokes about that not being a real sport and it being easy and all that. It's really annoying because I work really hard and I really care about it. I know he's joking, but it still kinda hurts my feelings. What can I say to him? 
My mom says he might be a little insecure, what do you think? And why would he be insecure and how can I make him feel more secure? 
I'm just a little lost right now haha. I was trying to figure out what to do on my own and I couldn't and I also didn't rely have anyone I knew I could talk to.. So help me out please!


P.S. I do not want to break up. I think that this is something I can work out.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think this is definitely something you can work out. He seems like a sweet guy, and what I think you need to do is just confront him about what you're feeling. The key to any good relationship is communication, and so if you're feeling this way, the best thing you can do is talk to him. 
a) Tell him that while you like fooling around with him, you want to go out on more dates too! Suggest the movies, or out to eat, or a picnic in the park, museums, etc. Giving him other options will make him feel less stressed about having to choose a new activity. He shouldn't be upset by just wanting to get out more! Don't worry at all about being nervous. He must know it's your first time, and if he is as considerate as you say about your feelings, he will make you feel comfortable. 
b) The next time he says something about your track/cross country, just kindly tell him that that hurts your feelings. He shouldn't be offending something you're passionate about, but he may just think that he's joking and not realize how what he's saying hurts your feelings. 
c) As for why he is insecure, I honestly don't know what to say. I don't think I know enough about his personality/the situation to be able to give you an answer. 

As I said, I think that these are things that you can definitely work through. You just need to have a conversation with him. Good luck & remember that communication is everything! :)

Johnny · Answer

Well first of all.your boy friend should support you in anything you do , and he should especially be supportive towards you.   If he doesnt understand this then come straight forward to him and say," I work hard for this and I wish you could respect it and if you don't then it makes me think twice about you " hell get that verbal slap in the face . Its understandable to have sexual desires with your boy friend because it shows hows comfy you are.but if you even have an ounce of doubt in your mind AND heart them its not the time. Have a sit down with him and ask him were he sees the relationship if hes serious, because if hes not then you are wasting your time.have a good talk ( communicate!) Say everything you want to say and if he can't respect that then he needs to grow up.dnt live your love life with regrets .its never too late .and if he is insecure then just show him that hes the only important person  that matters in the world because a relationship should be equal. A women loves to feel affection assurance and special. A man deserves that too. So do what you can and what feels right and if your still confused for that then come out and ask him.men can't read your mind, then men there straightforward.best luck and I wish u two the best :)

First · Answer

To both of these, COMMUNICATION is very important in a relationship.
It's hard for guys to know exactly what girls what. you both need to talk to each other. Also guys tend to want to be physical more often but he should understand that you want to have fun together with out other people and not always be physical. 
about him joking around. Just dont be aggressive when you bring it up. Calmy say something has been bothering me, could we talk about it? he should say yes ofcourse or hes not a very good bf then continue to tell him that you work really hard at cross country and dont like him putting it down
that and or challenge him to a long distance race ;) haha
ofcourse put urself into all of that dont just copy it ;)

Khartree S · Answer

Use your judgement.

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