Is my fiance controlling, and what should I do...?

Question

Alright. A little background here:

I've been dating my Fiance for about 2 years. In the beginning, we had the best relationship. We never fought, and were absolutely perfect together. 
Recently, things have been dwindling down to nothing between us. 

And the present:
I think my fiance may be mentally abusive and controlling. I didn't see it at first, but I've realized that there are signs of an abusive relationship.

- He puts me down almost constantly
- He doesn't like me around my friends
- He threatens to leave me almost daily
- Doesn't care if I'm on the floor crying, he wont console me.
Etc.

If he were any normal guy, I would have broken it off with him. But I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my life, and we have a home and a dog together. 

He also (when we're not fighting) is the sweetest man on good days. He makes me laugh, and takes care of me. 

So my question is,
Is he abusive? 

Is attitudes are all over the place. He's left the house 3 times today (and is now staying the night at someone else's house) because he simply "doesn't want to hear me talk". 

BQ: What should I do about this? 

Even if he is controlling, I'm legally obligated to share this apartment with him for the rest of the year.  I have no car, no family, no possessions... just him. What should I do?

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde scenario.  I am sure you believe you love Dr. Jekyll; but detest Mr. Hyde.

It would be impossible to have a successful and healthy marriage with that personality type.  You'd always be walking on eggshells; always trying to please him; always being confused and waiting for the next bomb to drop.

What can you do?  Since you have no one to turn to; no way to leave at this time; I guess you just stay with him until the lease expires.  In the meantime, do all you can to ensure you sock money away in an account to be able to rent your own place after the first of the year.

justwondering · Answer

WOW, he is definitely abusive and you need to definitely leave him. If I were you, I would 1) try to tolerate it for the rest of the year. Tell yourself your finished but maybe don't tell him yet because you don't want to be homeless or 2) go to like a battered women shelter or another type of homeless shelter. I know that might seem devastating, but your life is worth it. You can get back on your feet again. Don't give up!

? · Answer

He is like the way he is. Controlling, indifferent and abusive as he know that you have no car no family no possessions. This is despicable.
Why don't you get a job, and get one up on him, and leave him yourself and don't come back.
You only love him because you have nothing else.
Leaving him you will find something and somebody better

Girish Mehta · Answer

My dear friend,think that he is a normal guy and break uoor do not complain.You have no right to complain as you love hm blindly. It is your life and you have all the rights in this world to live in hell!Who cares?

bill g · Answer

yes --- to your question --- the extra bits put you between a rock and a hard place --- moreso if you can't talk to the bloke --- he is emmotionally " screwing " you to the deck --- you need to seek some serious advice about womens shelters --- because you are in no position to strike back --- that much you have said so yourself --- you need to get out of their sooner rather than later --- because his lack of controling anger management could have some very serious effects to your well being --- i don't need to spell it out to you --- good luck

Is my fiance controlling, and what should I do...?

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