Is he controlling and possessive or am I just being over dramatic?

Question

So I'm 16 and he just turned 18, we've been dating about 3 months now and I'm honestly getting a little scared. He always has to know where I am, who I'm with, what we're doing, and when we are doing it. Then he wants to at least be in constant contact with me the whole time. Another thing is, he's already saying love and making plans for the future. I think we are still pretty early in our relationship for love but when I brought it up (carefully) he got upset with me and told me to stop because I was "pissing him off". I had plans already for after I graduate and he completely blew them off, then looked up apartments and expenses for us to live together and go to the college he wants to attend. He doesn't let me wear certain clothing, and he doesn't let me hang out with any of my guy friends anymore. He literally went through my phone and deleted their numbers, saved them in his phone, then texted them, telling them to leave me alone. Another thing is, he periodically claims me as his, as if I'm an object to him. His temper scares me, he hasnt physically hurt me, but with how quickly he gets upset...I don't know. I'm just scared. Someone give some insight am advice, please????

Finesse · Accepted Answer

If you have a problem with something, it's not your fault that you do. You're not being over dramatic, this is simply not okay by anyone's standards. No sane woman, or human, should ever have to subject themselves to this kind of disrespect from their partner. I'm sure he has good qualities too, but what I've read here is enough of a deal breaker for me to say you two aren't compatible, and that's all their is to it. Don't think about how attached he is to you, don't let that be a factor, you need to do what's best for you and break up with him so you can find someone who doesn't stress you out.

johnb693 · Answer

You aren't being paranoid, you should have ended this before now.
But end it you must, or your life won't be your own.
It's one thing to be a little jealous but he's gone overboard.
He's just a boyfriend and not your husband, which would be bad enough. 
He is controlling and possessive.
You are just 16 years old, and are entitled to a few more boyfriends, before you settle down to the One Man. And this guy, sure isn't the one.
Yes, get away from this nut job as soon as you can, He really may be dangerous.

jacqueline083 · Answer

You need to trust your gut here. You feel scared because you know in your heart that his controlling behavior is not healthy for the relationship and not healthy for either of you. I understand you are scared, but you need to be brave. It sounds like he has isolated you from other people you care about and so you're reaching out to an online community for support. I suggest you start by finding support in your real world - either by reconnecting with old friends or contact a women's crisis line. Talk to someone who can get to know more of the details of your situation and give you better advice.

Anonymous · Answer

do you have parents? your bf needs counselling and your parents need to to lay off the crack pipe and to take an interest in their daughter's life.

Is he controlling and possessive or am I just being over dramatic?

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