How do I get my ball python to talk?

The Bible says that god cursed the snake (and it was a snake--look up what the Hebrew word "nahash" means) to do things like crawl on its belly and eat the dirt. But he didn't curse away its speech.

I've had my ball python for nearly a year. I've tried getting him to talk to me, to see what's on his mind and what I can do to make his life better. He has a nice terrarium, I feed him foods that he's always eager to take, he's never been sick, and I keep his terrarium clean and at the proper levels of heat and humidity, as measured by two thermometers and a hydrometer.

But he won't talk to me. How do I get him to talk? Also, if he does start to talk, should I take any dietary advice that he gives me? Or just ignore those parts?

And if the Bible wasn't really referring to a talking snake, then why did God curse the snakes? Was he taking his anger out on the wrong organism (and thus being unjust), or was he tricked into thinking it's really a snake (and thus not being omniscient)?

Anonymous2013-06-17T06:20:47Z

You obviously have not been looking here hard enough ball python is a regular poster. Give him his own keyboard.
Actually he was cursed to crawl on his belly, so he did start out with legs.

NDMA2013-06-17T05:35:08Z

Because of the reputation talking serpents had because of the fall, they were killed on site. Talking being a major detriment to survival was selected out serpents. Today only one species of snake is known to have a vestigial vocal chord, the ball python is not it.

Anonymous2013-06-17T05:29:30Z

You need faith that your python will talk.

If you seek wholeheartedly the word of the python it will be revealed to you

Anonymous2013-06-17T05:30:12Z

Snakes can only talked if either commanded so by god himself, or hijacked by an evil spirit. your average snake lacks vocal cord to pronounce the sounds we make for speech, and a mind to comprehend the logic behind speech.

Anonymous2013-06-17T05:32:38Z

High doses of hallucinogens for yourself. Then, maybe, you'll hear your snake talk. If he does talk, don't do what he says. Just give him a mouse to munch on, and he'll be fine.