How can I get comfortable with my girlfriend talking to guys?

Question

I'd really appreciate it if you read all before you answer. Thanks!

 So about to start college in a week me and my gf are going to the same college and I know I can't keep her from making friends.  She needs some friends anyway and I know they all won't be male no matter how much I'd like. I've been dating her for almost 2 years now.

My worse experience I've had with her talking to a guy was with my best friend. I felt hey he's new to our school how (back in junior year) about he makes friends with her so he'd know someone.  I thought they'd have just casual conversations. But he joked around with her alot (he says it wasn't aLot) and she talked to him a lot more than me. She says its cause she was nervous around me not him. But id always try to get her to talk but but nothing. 

So after awhile I felt they got too close and said something now they don't talk been 2 years. I still feel uncomfortable when they say something not that its often. I mean not having your gf talk to you while she talks to someone else.....seems wrong to me.

Now you're probably, dude that's years ago. You've almost been with her for 2 years obviously she wont leave you. But I can't just in my blood.  Since.... i was born jealousy has been an issue. I just always kept to myself. But with my gf... i know that if she had more friends she'd talk to me less. That's how she treated me when she was talking to my friend. And that's what I worry about.

I also have this mindset that when it comes down to me and another dude im always the last choice. Not the most fun to be around... etc


Im just trying to not be so controlling and not get bothered just let her do what she does. Any tips How to help out?

Scott · Answer

You've got to accept the fact that most girls are going to have A LOT of guy friends, most of which will be interested in her. You're going to college. She will be interacting with guys all day every day. I know telling you 'not to worry' is pointless, but the more energy you spend thinking up hypothetical scenarios in which she cheats on you, the more insane its going to drive you. 
       Just take comfort in the fact that you have absolutely no control whatsoever over what she does, or doesn't do. Absolve yourself of any delusions that you can do or say something that's going to influence her decision to cheat or not cheat on you. Whatever is going to happen or not happen, IS GOING TO HAPPEN, OR NOT HAPPEN. If she actually cheats on you, deal with it accordingly, and realize she's no great loss anyway. Until then, just trust her.

Anonymous · Answer

1) give the poor girl some space!
2) talk to her about how u feel
3) spend as much time w her as u can
4) ^ still give her time to hangout with new and other people
5) let her know about how much you care
6)be there for her
7) if u find urself in that situation again, just talk to her about it
It sounds like you guys have a lack of communication with each other... Work on that and it will improve your relationship!

How can I get comfortable with my girlfriend talking to guys?

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