When i was growing up I played all kinds of sports. Soccer, Football, Baseball, Track, Horse Back Riding, Everything. Some sports i was TERRIBLE at. Some I was pretty good at, but until I got much older I was never "The Athlete". My Daughter is almost 9 now. She has tried gymnastics, soccer, Karate and T-Ball. I'm not one of those over bearing "Sports Dads" that demands perfection, and pushes her to do sports that she doesn't have any interest in. All of the sports she participated in she picked. I will admit though that I encourage her to play sports for an excuse to have some Daddy-Daughter time. She is getting to the age now where she is beginning to become Self conscience about herself. Kids are some mean creatures, and I am trying to be proactive about her gaining self esteem. She loves to draw and paint but is her biggest critic. My wife and I have gone through the list of local after school activities with her and it looks like Girl Scouts is next on the list of things she wants to try out. If history repeats she will also lose interest in this as well. Has anyone gone through this with their children, and could offer some insight? We stay positive and encouraging. We help her when she asks for help, but she is beginning to say things that make me think she is looking down on herself.
2013-09-06T20:56:56Z
She stays with it until the season is over.
mrs.russell2013-09-06T15:44:21Z
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Try looking into some painting classes at an arts and craft store (hobby lobby, Michaels, etc.) I also was put into so many extra curricular activities as a child, ballet, competitive dance, cheerleading, volley ball, and track. I finally tried the high school swim team and ended up loving it and even swam in college.
The good thing is that your daughter is actually willing to try different things. Just keep introducing new hobbies and eventually she will stick with something. She sounds like she is going to be a very well rounded person.
Something not so streamlined. Something she is truly interested in... A martial art shouldn't be about a room full of kids kicking *** all the time. The meditation aspect is very important. It can take years. Try meditating yoga or tai chi, it can help her in school, sports, everything and it can involve rigorous physical activity if you so choose.
This will sound very farfetched to a guy most likely, and I know most fathers probably wouldn't want their daughter learning it because it is perceived as something only/mainly sexual, but what about belly dance? Guys can belly dance, it offers a rich cultural experience and could build your diaphragm to unbelievable levels - very helpful if either of you wanted to learn to sing professionally/very well for a hobby. Just try it, with an open mind and dedication.
What about something very physically intense, or other types of dance? I LOVE Spanish Flamenco. Regardless of gender; fire in motion.
She sounds like the artistic type... I was shark**** when I first drew. It got even worse when I got carpal tunnel in my right hand and had to switch to my left. Not to brag but now I do manga art, portraits, silhouettes... I'm just 16 but I make a lot of money when I charge (which isn't often, I still have a LOT to learn). Order her some books off amazon or even just the manga lessons online. Deviant art is a great place to post art and get feedback.
What about learning computer programming? It's an extremely useful skill and anyone can learn. Codeacademy, openstudy, many others are online, easy and free.
If she were confident in something she was learning, able to support herself/well on her way, that would be a boost to her confidence. I know it was to mine. I've always been interested in 'unusual' things most people would call time wasters. My dad never took interest until lately and I can't emphasize enough how wonderful it is.
What about learning another language together? Epsecially a hard one, but fun. Spanish is a good asset as far as being more employable but much
How long is she doing these activities before quitting? If it's just a few lessons/practices, that's not enough. For her next one, make her commit for a few months. Even if she doesn't like it at first, tell her that she needs to do it for ___ more months. She seems like one of those kids who will quit right as it gets hard, so the best thing you can do is make her stick with it for a little longer so she will have time to adjust.
Maybe sports aren't her thing, but what about some other quiet activities if she likes drawing and painting? Pottery classes? Chess club? Cooking classes? Ballet? Maybe a fashion design class? I know that with some of these quiet activities you may not get to spend as much time with her as you would if she was on the soccer team, but you can still make time every now and then to go out for ice cream together or play a board game.
You could try expanding on her drawing ability. There are kits to learn how to draw and tablets specifically for drawing; volleyball, tennis, swimming, crafts could also be a possibility but let her try Girl Scouts first. Sometimes being indecisive is a part of growing up. If she continues to avoid everything, you may have to look into her eating patters (make sure she's eating properly and drinking adequate amounts of water) or even sending her to a counselor for confidence building and counseling.
Your daughter seems like an artistic introvert: she loves to create and does best when she's allowed to explore on her own. I'd also guess that she does quite well in school. Say hello to your intelligent perfectionist.
Here's the thing...she isn't going to be what you want her to be. Your job is to forget what you want and find a place where she feels like she fits.
For example, I'm a former athlete with a clumsy, wonderful and super smart perfectionist daughter....For exercise, we dance. For socialization, I enroll her in music classes. When she gets too hard on herself, I turn on some reality tv and show her how imperfect people are.
And, btw, kids choose activities that they believe will please their parents. I wonder what would happen if you told her you would like to take a painting class with her.