How do I explain to people that I don't want friends?
I have a crapload of family, especially cousins. They always come over & we hang out, but they ask me where all my friends are, which I tell them all my friends are in the city (I live in the suburbs). It's actually true, but I deliberately distance myself from friends because I've evolved mentally & everybody else is pretty much the same as the person I used to be & no longer want to be. I'm the only person my age that I know of who studies & understands politics, science, theology, philosophy, history, sociology & psychology. The only reason I know anything about mainstream pop culture is because everybody else is into it, but I secretly hate it because I understand how the world system works & I recognize Cultural Marxism as CIA-brainwash of the masses. So you see I'm a total nerd & I don't want anybody to discover that.
I go to the city most days throughout the week to hang out with friends but every time I go back I feel like I've just fallen from heaven back into hell. I feel like a hypocrite who doesn't belong but if I say that, people might take it as separatism or self-righteousness. I just despise satanic Illuminati propaganda & it's everywhere. I'm very self-secure & have no problem being a loner, but am still ashamed of who I am because my thinking is always contrary to the consensus. When people invite me out, I always have some excuse but they eventually figure out the lies & pressure me to go out with them, which I truly, deeply, passionately hate that lifestyle but I never complain about it. I think trying to change other people is wrong so I would rather separate & lead by example for whomever would join me. How can I explain this stuff to people who ask me why I never show up anywhere or join in with the communist collectivist thinking?