It was love at first sight. We dated for about 2 years. We got along well. She is shy about a lot of things. Although she never said "I love you". We still got married. Twenty five years and 3 children later she still hasn't. If you had a fight it was always me who reconciled. She has never said sorry either. She criticizes a lot. She is the first to finger point or even call names. I have always loved her and have been nice to her. I am not the jealous type. She had anything she wanted and she was free to do what ever. She is a dedicated mother and a good housewife. I don't care about house work. I would like her to put her arm around me once in awhile. She never goes on vacation with me and the children. She does not believe in a religion. No matter what happens she is always unhappy. She is constantly pre- occupied. She has to be busy all the time with silly stuff. She goes out with her friends and would come home as late as 3 - 4 am. But she can never keep up to watch a movie with me and the children without falling asleep as early as 8pm. I am frustrated and have asked her to go marriage counseling. She won't go. I have suggested therapy on her own. She won't do that either. She is possessive. Can anyone tell me what is going on here. I have never stop loving her.
Sandra2014-02-08T13:00:19Z
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I would never let my husband go out that late first off, and you let her? I dont think she loves you, and I am sorry but you have to face reality. She never told you she loves you, she goes out late, she's unhappy, calls you names, how does she treat your children. How the heck can she be possessive when she acts that way? It's obvious she is not committed to you, let her go and I'm sure you will find someone that deserves your love and compassion. Trust me, letting her go will be hard and heartbreaking but you have to think about yourself and your children. They don't see love in your relationship with your wife, they will go into a relationship that is the same as yours is now. She needs to face her demons and she doesn't want to or even try.
Well you are some incredible guy and I am, so very sorry for this one-sided marriage and sorrier still? That you cannot get her into counseling. She is one angry woman from what I can tell and you're her "punching bag". The fact you have let this go sooooooooo long; and not taken action? Has only allowed the situation for YOU BOTH TO FESTER AND GET WORSE.
I'm not sure why you still love her. It's clear by her behavior? She does not feel the same. Then again? Who marries a man or woman whose NEVER said aloud: I love you. Whose NEVER said aloud: I'm sorry??????????????? Nobody who has an ounce of self-respect I'll wager...And you don't and this is? A bad thing for you!!!
Were I you? I would quietly tell her this: "I'm unhappy in this marriage...You don't seem to be interested in keeping us together...I'm going to marriage counseling with or without you to garner some qualified guidance on my next step". I'd say it quietly and succinctly and walk away - I wouldn't even give her the chance this time, to respond. MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND FOLLOW THROUGH. That's a BIG part about being a worthy human being...It's hard to respect someone who DOESN'T respect themselves, surely you must know this? So it's time a little "light" was "shed" on you - your life and counseling will give you that...It's TIME...It's PAST time...You have, THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO LIVE, do you want to continue in this awful state? I don't think so. I really don't guy. Please listen up here...Get some counseling and let her know in no uncertain terms. You will be glad you finally did something FOR YOU!
I wish you luck in finding your way...Understand? It may be without her...Nothing worse than loving someone short of "eternity" who doesn't love you back, is there? Not in my opinion anyway.
Hi, fowzer, each person has her own likes and dislikes. Your wife is a good mother to your 3 children. She isn't a demonstrator-type of a woman. She loves you sooooo much so that she cares for your children, she runs your home excellently, she does the work with no complaints. What other signs do you need to prove she loves you very dearly !!! She isn't the type who tells to the world, " I love you, hubby!!". Don't bother yourself about looking for an answer of what you want to hear from her. You have been together for 25 years !!! Man, that isn't short time. She won't stay that long, with the 3 kids and you, is she doesn't love her family more than enough. Don't cloud your mind with something that may cause frustration and insecurities. Show to her you love her more than enough, hug her if she doesn't voluntarily does, kiss her anytime you meet anywhere in the house, hold her hands. embrace her, hold her head to face you, and look at her eyes. Whisper to her how much you love her. Yes, she loves you dearly only she is shy to be vocal, to be demonstrative. Break her shell of shyness. Have time for each other in the house. You might also be busy, you see her time but you have not realized how preoccupied you are as well. Help her to open-up with you. She might have simple insecurities within her.
Maybe your wife doesn't know how to express her feelings she could have been brought up in a family that was cruel and never said I love you or even apologized to each other like saying I'm sorry. Or the most bizarre option she is possessed by a demon and has never had control over her life and she is up until all hours with these other ladies making sacrificial offerings. Maybe it is time to make some ultimatums counseling or divorce, therapy or divorce, express that you feel a disconnection with her and she needs to make some compromises here and now or it is over.
I don't think it's a good idea to divorce your wife after 25 years. 25 years you've been dealing with this, so what has changed now? If you've been dealing with it for 25 years why do you all the sudden want a divorce? Just seems odd.