What to do in a dysfunctional relationship between my mom and dad? Help! I need advice!?

Question

I just moved to Las Vegas 3 months ago because I want to help my mom out with my little sister whom she is 6 yrs. old. I have a very selfish arrogant dad who won't help out around the house and live on welfare. My mom is in desperate need of help and is struggling because nowadays she couldn't get a job because of her felonies plus she's a little overweight and a handful to take care of my baby sister. It breaks my heart to see her suffering like this and my dad is being an asshole. He always every weekend goes out to the casino and gamble his money away or over to his mom's house to play cards with his sister which is my auntie with strange men. Plus my dad side of the family are gamblers too and my auntie and her friend stays with my grandma because they have gambling problems which they have financial problems. My parents are almost 50 yrs old and still struggling but my mom changed a lot since she been off those drugs. Almost every single day my parents argue a lot and the reason is because of my dad. He argues about every little thing which is so petty that to the points he gets on my nerves and mom's. It seems like he don't almost care about anything when he's the one to blame about being irresponsible plus he lie so much to mom and always cheating on her with various women. I didn't really give a crap about him at all because the way he is. I just wish I had a better father figure because he's not a good influence at all towards me and my baby sister.

2014-07-27T10:57:54Z

My dad always drunk too on the weekends and do silly stuff which makes me sick to my stomach he almost to my pet baby ball python up to the casino one time. My mom and I talked things out about their relationship how they met and his slick schemes. She believe she married the wrong man which I think so too. If my mom gets sick or die, lord forbids I have to move back to Florida with my people on her side of the family. I have to take my little sister with me because he's not going to care for us

Patricia · Answer

Alcoholics aren't the most rational people on earth, which is why your father is the way he is... he's also got a gambling addiction along with the alcoholism.  He has huge issues.  You can't fix that.

As far as your mother is concerned, if she's overweight, she can do the work it takes to lose some weight and become healthier.  It's not up to you.  I'm 57 years old, was in an auto accident a few years back, couldn't walk for quite some time, had hip, leg and arm surgeries, and now?  I am back to hiking and exercising.  I also work, although my doctors do not recommend it.  I'm not going to sit here and waste away.  Your mother is a lot younger than me, and she needs to start working toward a healthier situation.  You can't fix that, and if she doesn't want to, and if she continues to put up with your father's antics, what are YOU supposed to do?

the only life you're responsible for is your own. the only life you can alter in any way, is your own.

I'm not sure why you've put your life on hold

Bobbie · Answer

Try some tough love on your dad. He obviously lacks the self respect WORK will bring to his dignity, so perhaps you need to give him a push in that direction. Document how he is abusing the welfare system and turn his lazy ars in. When he gets kicked off welfare, then he will have no choice.
As for the sister, when the dead beats finally cave in- -then you can get custody of her.

Have some conviction and just do the right thing, remaining passive and you are just an enabler.

Niesha · Answer

It's your mother's decision but it sounds like she should get a divorce and you should help her out as much as you can. She should also try and get a job that will allow her to legitimately make money despite her felonies and she should also try to explain some of those felonies.

What to do in a dysfunctional relationship between my mom and dad? Help! I need advice!?

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