I had a fight with my sister in front of my kids, what should i do ?

Question

i'm women 35 years old and my sister 33

my kids are boys 8 and 11 years old

on saturday, my sister visited my home, everything went not good since i argued with her several days ago.

that day we argued (again) so much, she blamed me for some issue, but then i got upset and started yelling at her, she then put her forehead to mine and yelled back

suddenly all of my kids became silent and watched at us, but we didn't too care 'bout it n keep yelled at each other, her face was really close to mine, i annoyed with the way she yelled at me so i headbutted and slapped her, she slapped me back, then we starred at each other for a minutes long

after that, she came close to my face again, closer this time (i can even feel her breath) she pushed her nose to mine hardly, she swore at me that she will never come and see me again

then she looked at my kids, she hugged n kissed them, she said sorry to them for witnessing it, then she quickly stormed out. a moment later, i hugged n kissed my kids too, they keep askin me what happened but i told them that they better don't know

sorry if it's too long, my question is why should i do to make my kids not having a trauma after witnessing a fight? bcause they seem have a different behaviour after the incident, they love their aunt and they seem know that they will never see her again, so what should i do with this situation ?

P.S : i still piss off with my sister and dont think about fixing our relationship this time

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well, they don't need to know the hard details of why you were fighting and there is no need to make your sister look like a bad guy in their eyes. If I were you I would talk to them about what they saw. I would be very clear about it. "You saw mommy and aunt so-n-so yell, invade personal space, use bad language and hit,etc".  Then I would be very clear that it is not acceptable behavior. I would also apologize for acting that way, not just in front of them but in general. Then, you need to tell them that you are sorry you did that to your sister and their aunt and you are going to apologize to her. And you should...I'm not saying make amends...but you should be able to be a big enough to say you were wrong for YOUR part and YOUR actions that allowed it to escalate that far, and be able to say it even if she says she is sorry or not. If she gets angry and belittling on the phone, calmly say what you called to say then tell her we can speak again when we are both calm. Hang up. GL!

Joanna · Answer

thanks for the asnwers, my problem with my sister is very very personal, actually we are very close, she's the only one sibling i have, when we were teenager we always share our bed n hang out together, sometimes we had a fight but not as serious as this one, i also still can't believe that i slapped her cause i have never ever slapped people before, the worst thing is i did it in front my kids.

i'm still angry at my sister nothing can change that, my kids seem still shocked but nothing serious and i will try to talk to them and apologize for what i've done that day and yea i won't trying to make their aunt look like a bad guy, wish me luck :)

I had a fight with my sister in front of my kids, what should i do ?

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