pisgahchemist
A neon atom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." The neon just stood there and didn't react.
A gold atom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "A-you! Get outta here."
A tin atom and a lead atom walk into a bar. The bartender says to the tin, "You can stay, but ya gotta get the lead out."
Two transition metals were settling their bar-tab, but came up short. The bartender says, "You'll need another nickel."
What kind of atom gets the wrinkles out of a periodic table cloth? An iron.
A doctor rushes up to the bar and says, "Did you call for a doctor?" The bartender says, "Yes", and pointing to a passed out atom, says, "This guy looks pretty inert, can you helium?"
The doctor points to the undertaker sipping a martini at a corner table and says, "No, but he can barium."
A francium atom and germanium atom walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Ain't seen you boys around. You new here? "Yes," they replied, "We're from europium."
A metal ion walks into a bar and puts down his CB radio. The bartender says, "You want a drink?" The metal ion replies, "Tin(IV)."
The bartender yells, "I've been robbed and he got away." Then he lamented, "There's never a copper around when you need one."
An atom helps a man who has been beaten up and robbed into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Take care of this guy and I'll pay for whatever he needs." The bartender says, "Who are you?" The atom replies, "Let's just say I'm a good samarium."
The bartender says, "Haven't seen you lately. Where ya been?" The atom replied, "I've been in up north in a polar bond."
How did the detective determine that graphite was the killer? He could see the carbon footprint.
The bartender says, answering the phone, "Nobel gases? Let me look." He returns to the phone and says, "No, they argon."
If you steal my jokes and make a boatload of money, I should get hafnium.
Dr W
sigh.. are you telling jokes or asking for some?
what's this?
http://home.comcast.net/~noslensj/compound4.gif
what's this?
http://web.mst.edu/~gbert/Ferrous.GIF
name these
http://apps.carleton.edu/global_stock/photostock/207982.gif
number 4 in the last link in the 1,4 position is?
Sana Ali
hahahahaha
?
LOL!
Here's a good one: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&docid=ycH5APmU0PsYrM&tbnid=EMTdhn9JoKATqM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F268879040227888955%2F&ei=4SnpU56SL43goATnhoKgBg&bvm=bv.72676100,d.cGU&psig=AFQjCNGHQwXsfpmJ9DFSIYJXslnueOrlRg&ust=1407875359890214