Want to comfort grieving friend but don't know how?
My friend lost her father a couple days ago, and I feel horrible. I've been wanting to text her to see how she is, but I really don't know what to say. What do I open with? What questions do I ask?
My friend lost her father a couple days ago, and I feel horrible. I've been wanting to text her to see how she is, but I really don't know what to say. What do I open with? What questions do I ask?
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Favorite Answer
They'll be upset so try to be exceptionally understanding on your part. Don't EVER say these kinds of things: 'cheer up, it'll get better with time, I understand what you're going through'. Just don't be jugdemental.
Just say something like 'I heard that your father died and I'm sorry for your loss. I was wondering how you are. Is it okay if I come and visit? If you need time alone, I completely understand. If you need anything, just let me know'.
You could be as polite as you like but this is a very delicate situation which requires patience and care. Don't feel too bad if they break down or get angry at you or anything, its natural for someone grieving to do this.
Anonymous
Sometimes, it can be hard to find the words to say when someone you know really well loses a relative, friend, or anyone else they were closely associated with. There are some instances where sometimes, it's best not to say anything at all, but instead, if you see him/her, give them a hug, or if you feel like you must say anything, the best thing to say is a simple "I'm sorry" and nothing more.
I faced a similar situation ten years ago (this was in April of 2007) when one of my former workmates at Walmart lost his youngest daughter (she was only one month, maybe six weeks, shy of turning two years old, I might add) who had been very gravely ill pretty much her entire life. The day of the funeral, I entered the funeral home where the service was held, where he (his name was Doug) was waiting up front with programs for the service. All I could muster, as far as saying anything, was a simple "I'm sorry for your loss", and second, I also made mention that I felt like I was prying in on his family's business, to which Doug replied that I wasn't (in fact, the fact that I knew what it was like to be the gravely ill baby only made my presence more welcome).