Husband said he needed space, but now doesn't want to even try to work on our marriage?

Question

My husband and I had an argument over something stupid on Tues evening. After not talking to me all day Wed I knew he was still mad at me and stupid me, decided to not come home that evening. I gave him some time to figure it out. He went Thurs and stayed with his sister so they could go down and see his dad who just had a pacemaker put in and to celebrate his sons birthday who would have been 8. Friday he told me that we would talk things out and try to work on it, he just needed some space right now. So I told him ok when he was ready we would talk things out. This morning he texts me and I told him that unless he was ready to talk things out to please not text me bc my heart couldn't take the pain of the non chalant texts. We talked some and he said he was done and doesn't want to be married to me any longer. That I deserved someone better and so did our kids. I don't know if this stems from the stress and all from his dads surgery and his son's birthday and day he passed away all together. Or if he really means he wants nothing to do with me any more. I don't see how someone can wake up one morning and decide to throw it all away. I asked him to please just try and sit and talk it through and maybe seek counseling. He won't respond to any of my requests. Is there a chance that with his space that maybe he will decide that it is worth trying to work on for our family's sake (me, him, and our two boys) or is it a lost cause all around....which I am hoping is not the case.

Robert · Answer

" I don't see how someone can wake up one morning and decide to throw it all away."
 
People don't.  He's probably tried dozens of times to talk about the problems but you just wanted to fight.  Neglect leads to divorce. 
 
Instead of telling him you want to sit down and talk - which, in the past, has probably meant you getting defensive and arguing - start by apologizing for not listening to his concerns sooner.  Think about past arguments and have a solution ready for him.  What do you tend to argue about?  You say you had "an argument over something stupid ", clearly he thinks it's pretty important or at least your argumentative attitude is a major problem.

Esparanza · Answer

It's possible that the recent stress is causing your husband to think irrationally or this situation has been building up for some time and now he's finally decided to tell you how he feels. Either way, only your husband knows for sure so take a deep breath and focus on taking care of yourself and your kids.

Anne · Answer

Ignore all the speculating about your situation and go to a therapist to work on your relationship issues. Regardless of what anyone else does, you will need to learn from this what is going on with you and develop a recovery and coping program. Even if it ends in divorce, you will still need help and support. And future relationships and the future of this one depend on all parties concerned working on their issues. Fault finding and blaming or shaming will solve nothing.

Anonymous · Answer

He wants space but doesn't want to repair marriage. Its obvious that your husband is no longer interested in working on the marriage, nor does your husband love you the way he used to. He is not interested anymore.

Husband said he needed space, but now doesn't want to even try to work on our marriage?

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