Ok, so I recently gave birth to my daughter in the state of AZ 3 weeks ago. Up until the beginning of August, my baby's father was never involved with the baby or my pregnancy. He had asked me to move in with him so we can work on things and so I did. However, he began to make violent threats against my family and began drinking again so A week before I delivered on September 21st, I left him and gave birth without him, giving my daughter MY last name. Because my mom & dad were in the process of moving to MN during the midst of all this craziness, I obviously made the choice to go with because MN is where my support system is. I have nowhere to stay in AZ. Two days before my flight, my baby's father served me papers basically stating he would like a DNA test and sole custody of my daughter, asking the courts that I could not leave the state. Nowhere in the documents did it say I couldn't leave AZ tho. However, it did have a court date for November 4th, in which I obviously am unable to attend. It also had a judges signature and stated that I have the choice to respond to the documents before the court takes what he's asking into consideration. I'm curious to know what I should do from here. Neither I or my family can afford a trip to AZ for court, and I was escaping an abusive relationship in order to have the support and love I need from family. I am a single unmarried mother, and like I said, his name is NOT on the birth certificate.
?2014-10-13T17:01:12Z
If there is no proof of the abuse, then you are just making an allegation without merit. So, don't go there unless you have documentation of the abuse or at least get affidavits from those who witnessed the abuse or your bruises or what have you. Along with any abusive proof, you really also do need to have statements/affidavits documenting his drinking problems. I would start on that today.
You need to respond to the judge to voice your views and concerns. Be forthright and honest. State the truth with dates and why you left the state so you could have the support of your family. You have to show that YOU have the best interests of your child at heart.
Being a no show in court is a huge no no and shows disrespect for the court system who is no involved to make choices that are best for your daughter. You best get your behind there or have a very good excuse.
If I were you, I would be nursing that child so she cannot be separated from you. That could be in your favor to delay this court proceeding.
If the baby daddy has a criminal record, get it. Get statements/affidavits to show his horrible character. You are in for the fight of your life. Hopefully he will continue to drink and give up fighting for his daughter.
In the mean while, or for the rest of time, you had better stay away from alcohol, pot, drugs and other abusive men. You best fly straight and keep your nose clean. Because, sweetie, if you take one misstep, he will pounce on you and so will the courts and you could very well forfeit your parental rights if you do stupid things to jeopardize your motherhood/custody of your daughter. I hope you take this seriously because that assaholic baby daddy is going to play with fire. And unless you live a stellar lifestyle, he is going to use your downfalls against you, big time. And, that includes anyone else you date, you know.
There is a reason why you were with an abusive alcoholic. I suggest you pick your next boyfriend very carefully because patterns that females make repeat themselves, so it is entirely possible you will choose another bad boy. Making that mistake again could cost you your daughter.
Regardless who's name is on the birth certificate, it is irrelevant. If you KNOW he is the babydaddy, there really is no need for a DNA test, so let the judge know that he is the babydaddy in your statement, if it is not mandatory to take a DNA test.
I understand that you say you have no money. Well, you had better get that family support going so you can get a job and hire one, or at least get some advise from a batter woman's shelter or other agencies for girls in your position.
Do not wait for things to happen. Take control while you still have it and get those affidavits. Okay?
Because he managed to file IN AZ before you left, there is now an open custody case there, and they do have jurisdiction. Sorry to tell you that. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniform_Child_Custody_Jurisdiction_And_Enforcement_Act
YOU NEED A LAWYER. You are at risk of losing this case, unless you find a legal means to prove to the court, what your claims are. And you need to do something before the 4th. You will lose by default if you fail to appear.
edit his not being on the birth cert does not change anything, since the entire point of him filing, is to prove he IS the father, and then go for subsequent rights. DNA trumps "name on cert"
Why would you get pregnant by this man? You need to see a family attorney. Did you file a police report against this man? Say someone else is the father.
You should have a free legal aid society in your community. Contact the Bar Association in you community or in the largest city in your area. See if they can get you free legal aide attorney in Arizona. Good luck.