Husband left us now oldest son didn't want to talk to him.?

Question

My husband left me and our two sons, 3 &4, last Thursday and moved in with his"girlfriend" and her two kids.  I know I bang keep them from him and don't intend to however he wants them to come stay the weekend with him soon and tried bribing them with ice cream. I don't feel comfortable having them stay at her house with him.  They just have had their normal disrupted from daddy not being home every night and with it not even being a week Do not feel that it's in their best interest to stay there.

Then when he calls at night my oldest says outright to him He doesn't want to talk to him.  Tonight you could hear her in the background.  My son then asked " when are you coming back to my home daddy" to which was replied " I'm at my new home and I'm not coming back to your home.  That's just going to have to be explained to you". My son then said bye pressef the end button the the phone and said "I hate daddy". I sat down with him and explained that mommy and daddy need to be apary right now But we both love him very much.  And no matter what daddy does still love him.  And he tells me he wants a new daddy.  It breaks my heart to see him hurt like this.  I don't know if I should ask him to maybe call every other day or once every three days if that would help any.  I have an appt tom with my attorney just trying to get some quick advice tonight. Thanks.

GrannyJane · Answer

I understand your frustrations about the "girlfriend" but honestly I wouldn't fight it. That only brings tension, more stress for you and the kids. and it's really an unnecessary fight since you can't do anything really about it. They're his kids too and he has a right to see them and when it's his time to have them, well unfortunately he can take them wherever he wishes within reason.
You're doing right by telling your kids that daddy loves them too. I know you and your husband aren't getting along, but always try to speak positive, make yourself the good guy, even though I know that can be hard. but it's for your kids sake, that's their dad.
This may be hard, but you may want to see if your husband will meet with you and the kids together so you and him both can tell the kids how much you both love them but that you two can't be together anymore. As of right now dad should at least call them twice a week, So they feel he is thinking of them and to hear his voice. 
I know this is going to be a tough road for you, but everything happens for a reason. You never know, in the long run this may be the best thing that happened. You raise your kids the best that you can, let them know you're always there for them. They will love and appreciate you for it. I send you prayers and many blessing through this tough time. Good luck.

mmm · Answer

I remember when my daddy left and I SCREAMED at the top of my lungs - where is my daddy - he should be here (I was 2 and a half) - my mom called him up and told him to explain it to me (she was heartbroken)

having said that - the longer you keep the children from seeing their dad the worst off it will be for EVERYONE - including you

I'm sorry you don't want her around your children or staying at her home - but that is his home now and its going to happen before you know it and there isn't anything you will be able to do but hug your kids and go

Justin · Answer

I think the best thing is to let the oldest work it out himself you see hes grieving so to make him talk to his dad or go to his house would just hurt things more my parents split up when I was to little to understand also and now that I'm married and know more about marriage and divorce I don't hate either of them just let him know his dad still loves him and so do you and he even has another "parent" to love him too hopefully this helps

Husband left us now oldest son didn't want to talk to him.?

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