Why do gays hate it when people call homosexuality a lifestyle?
We were discussing homosexuality in my history class because we were talking about Harvey Milk, and we were all asked our opinions on it. And I said "I'm fine with the lifestyle". After that I was given angry looks and then told by some angry classmates (one of which was gay) "it's not a lifestyle". My parents also told me that people don't like it when homosexuality is described as a lifestyle. Is it because a lifestyle is a choice and being gay is not. I just want to know cause I don't think I said anything wrong?
Jay2015-04-14T19:28:28Z
It's because the context of the word "lifestyle" is usually such that it implies a choice, more like a hobby or an expertise. No one says "the heterosexual lifestyle", only the "homosexual lifestyle", and that's because homosexuality is taken less seriously or seen as a conscious choice-- which for many people, it isn't.
If it means "the way you live your life", it's technically correct. But there are connotations behind the words we use, and sometimes a dictionary definition doesn't do the word itself justice. There is a very researchable psychology behind the language we use, and we choose certain words because we have certain thoughts about the subjects we're describing.
If "heterosexual lifestyle" were a common phrase, the opposite wouldn't be seen as offensive. But as it stands, "lifestyle" is used for things such as vegans, otakus, punks, etc. Not your sexuality.
I wont bore you by repeating what others have already said about choice being implied by using the term lifestyle.
Rather than run to your computer and asking us to second guess whats happening in the minds of your class mates, maybe the smart move would be to pull them aside one at a time and ask them to explain why they felt your use of the word lifestyle is wrong and then you can explain how you see it. You could then reassure them that you get that a person does not choose to be gay and so you using the term is not suggesting anyone does choose.
All that said, if you do assume that we choose to be gay, that does not paint you as a very wise person. Honestly, why would anyone choose such a lifestyle?
How can you be open-minded about a "lifestyle" you know nothing about? Just because you see it described as a lifestyle on tv, doesn't make it right. If anything, "LGBT" tv is a misrepresentation of actual LGBT people. Very stereotypical and disrespectful descriptions straights made up about LGBT people being advertised on tv along with "LGBT LIFESTYLE". Maybe you shouldn't have butted into the conversation in the first place. Pretending to be open-minded about whatever the subject may be, just makes you look ignorant. Some cases here and there it makes you look "open-minded" to the clueless. I don't blame your classmates about being pissed off with you. A lot of straight people, who pretend to be open-minded about LGBT people, are a serious problem. I've seen parents tell their kids they were open-minded about gay people in order to get their secretly gay child to come out the closet. When they finally convinced their kid to come out the closet, they assaulted their kid or kicked them out the house. I've seen so many LGBT teens on the streets because of this. These days homosexuality is called a "lifestyle" to mislead and trick homosexuals.
Homophobic mom "Amanda, I'm open-minded about your lifestyle" "You can do what other lesbos do and are supposed to do." "Just come out the closet." "I watch open-minded tv"
Amanda comes out and gets beaten and then kicked out. Watta lifestyle! After all, it's what homosexuals do 'cause it's their lifestyle.