We've been married for 10 months. My husband & I both have low paying jobs. We gross about $2000 each paycheck. He has a full time job that's pays $12 an hour. I have a part time job that pays the same. I do most of the cleaning & cooking plus pay the bills. We have no car & are in the process of buying 1 car. My parents drop us off at work & we pay them money. Recently he told today he would like for me to get a full time job. I told him we in since were getting 1 car. How is that possible when our schedules would conflict. My parents stated they will not take me to work anywhere else in since my mom works at the same place as me. My father cannot absolutely do it. My husband works early in the morning 6 days a week. Their are not many jobs that I can walk to around. I told maybe we get 2 cars I could find something better. I love my job & don't want to leave. We don't have degrees from college so the best you can find is something a full time job that's works you hard. I searched for job & didn't get any. I told him if I have to find a higher paying job then so does he. He complaints & says he doing everything he can. So am I. We stopped arguing & will have a car in s comments weeks. I know people on here will say car pool, that's usually only last until something hits the fan and people get tired.
n2mama2015-08-25T19:07:34Z
Favorite Answer
I'm trying to figure out how he is unreasonable. You both make the same hourly pay, but he works full time and you work part time. He wants you to work full time, to which you replied that he should find a higher paying job too? He didn't say to find a higher paying job, he said a full time job, which is what he is working. But you think that cooking and cleaning should be given the same weight as him working full time. If he's working 6 days a week as it is, how much cleaning can there really be to do? It isn't like he's home making messes in the house, and things like cleaning bathrooms, floors, laundry, etc. only really need to be done about once a week if it's just two of you and he's never home. As for cooking, are you preparing gourmet multi-course meals every night? Cooking really isn't that big a deal for most people most of the time, and certainly doesn't take 20 hours a week to do.
If you can't pick up more hours at your current job, then how about taking a second job at a place you can actually walk to so that you can contribute more to the family income? Nobody said quit your current job and trade it for a job that pays less with fewer hours, but your husband is wanting you to bring more income into the family, which is not an unreasonable request to make. You can view cooking and cleaning as part of your "job", but it doesn't bring any money into the household, and lots of people work full time plus manage a household. What would your reaction be if your husband announced that he was going to cut back to part time work and do all the cooking and cleaning and that it was now your job to work full time? Would you be okay with that, or would you expect him to work full time?
I think BOTH of you need to sit down and reassess your expectations. $12 is actually pretty good pay for a part-time job, but $12 is NOT a livable wage for a full-time job. BOTH of you should be actively looking for better employment. You say you like your job, and that's great because so many people can't actually say they like their job. How long have you been there? When was your last raise? Go on the Internet and research the average salary for what you do in your area. It may be time to ask for a raise.
You mention lack of transportation options, but you don't really mention where you live. Do you live in a small town or a city? If you live in a city then BOTH of you should look into public transit, as neither one of you really make enough to manage the financial cost of a car in addition to living expenses. But if you're insistent on having the car, then one of you should at least get a bus pass (probably you since he currently has the full-time job). At 37 years old never finished my college degree, and I make over $50k per year at my primary job. It can be done you just have to look, and keep looking, and keep looking, and keep looking. If you live in a small, dead-end town with few employment options then what you should be saving your $$$ to get the hell out.
if you both need some sort of vehicle, then you have options: one get a scooter like a moped or small motorcycle, or even a bicycle ; use public transportation ; and a carpool is a good idea IF it fits will the schedules of all those involved.............as far as the housework, etc - if you work outside of the home PT + do the work at home, that is MORE than a FT job !!! hubby should help where possible
OH BS. I rode a bicycle for 8 years to work and back. People ride buses, car pool, pay people for rides. Get done what they need to do. And don't rely on Mom and Dad to take care of it for them.