How to pick the right therapist to go to?
I am 22, female, a NEET (not in education, employment, or training). I was laid off at my job at a kindergarten last summer (at 2 school years, it was the first job i kept for more than a few weeks, and I got to work alongside my mom. I was good at it and It gave me fulfillment & financial stability). Im dependent on my bf in every aspect.. driver, rent payer... He cant go out without me calling & getting a panic attack if he doesn't answer. Im depressed. We rarely have sex, I have no motivation to shower or tidy up. I dont have one single friend and I dont leave the house unless I beg my bf to take me along with him on errands. I only sleep 4 nights a week bc I dont burn off enough energy to sleep. I am certain I have OCD &/or Asperger's Syndrome. I dont have a passion so I have no motivation for college. I have mild interests but not enough to keep me there. I've failed or dropped out 3x when I was 16 and 18. I have no sense of community or belonging and im so lost and confused about my life.
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The only "real" problems in my life I brought upon mmyself.Or so my dad says. I have daddy issues surprise surprise.. Im in a quarter-life crisis. Its not self harm, anorexia, and panic and rage attacks bad like when I was a teen. Its days without showering or cleaning up dirty dishes, house-ridden, confusion and hopelessness and social desperation bad.
I have Medicaid for my disability (arthritis and scoliosis and IBS-C) so cost isn't a factor if its covered.Saw my first therapist at 7, was so bad at 16 I was hospitalized . I've been misdiagnosed, mismedicated, and not clicked with therapists. I need it to work this time. I dont have it in me to go only for it to be a bad fit. How do I know without committing to one?