Adult friend threw temper tantrum on vacation. Forgive her?

Question

We've been friends 6 yrs, 50-ish, both nurses, both Christians. I invited her & her husband to vacation in Bahamas, after she said she'd like to go. The whole time she compained:-about the weather, food, pools,was bored, asked why I didn't have a manicure beforehand, said she hated my husband & my karaoke song we sang, talked very fast ( like bi-polar speech) about her job search, didn't engage in conversations etc. The last straw being when we were at a karaoke place, her head lying on her husband"s shouder ,eyes closed, my husband suggested I call the cab, thinking she was tired. When I told her the cab would be coming in 10 mins, (we were there 4hrs.) she yelled, "I'm not ready to go, no one asked me, why wasn't I consulted?" I explained, & re-called the cab, which he came in 1 hour, making his last round. She threw another tantrum.Her husband told her to settle down. I texted her that we would take our own cab to the airport the next day. She knocked on our hotel door, I fearing I would be impolite at that time, didn't answer. She then texted, "Sorry if I offended you, I'm not mad." I thought,"REALLY!" Everyone has faults, but do you think this friendship is worth it?

2016-02-29T02:10:37Z

Adult friend of 6 yrs. threw temper tantrum on vacation. Forgive her?

2016-02-29T02:18:16Z

Adult friend threw temper tantrum on vacation. Forgive her?

tellitlikeitis · Accepted Answer

If it's been OK in other respects, I'd be inclined to give her another chance.  Some people totally change their personalities on vacation you know.  Going on vacation together or with other couples doesn't always work out.
I think this is down to how well you could draw a line in the sand and rekindle your friendship.  If you are going to hold on to resentment, (and that's not a criticism, it's just down to your personality type), then just tell her you can't get past this.
If it's worth reviving, you can give it your best shot.  It's always going to be there as a niggle, but let's face it, if your sister did it to you, you'd no doubt eventually forgive her, so why not a friend?
She did have the good grace to try to apologize in her own clumsy way.  I think you shouldn't brush it right under the carpet though, if you decide to give her a second chance.  Try to discuss it and let her know how unjustified you felt it was and how it upset you and spoiled your vacation.
And of course, goes without saying, NEVER GO ON VACATION WITH HER AGAIN.

Anonymous · Answer

If thisis out of character maybe its the trip or some mental issue or marriage issue going on..holiday can be very stressful if she is an introvet as well then she may find it too much in terms of being around the same people constantly like a big dose of socialising 
i think see her conduct later on and if sne doesnt improve her attitude down rank her after telling her in a text or email that youare hurt or you could just make less effort but be polite and civil especialky if you have to see her regularlg keep things cool.

Persephone · Answer

Has she apologized? I have a difficult time "forgiving" someone who isn't repentant. If forgiveness is important to you then sure... but forgiveness or not I would suggest you never take her on another vacation....

Adult friend threw temper tantrum on vacation. Forgive her?

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