I'm 16, my parents don't want me to see this guy anymore because, 1. He's 18 2. His mom freaks them out 3. Since I started hanging out with him I've been more prone to lying, (to keep them from knowing) 4. They just don't want me to date.
Since the last upset, with me lying to them about who I was texting and what I'd deleted from my phone, I've decided, for the peace of our home and my mind, to really not see him anymore. Two problems. I still have a class with him and I still really like him.How do I separate myself cleanly with no more drama? Thanks.
2016-02-29T07:08:41Z
Thank you for all your advice! Very helpful in solidifying my resolve
?2016-02-29T06:46:02Z
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You are being strong by honoring your parent's wishes. They love you and they want only the best for you.
Could you possibly be making dating choices mainly based upon whether someone likes you and you like them? Unfortunately this approach to dating, used by most people, usually leads to a broken heart.
May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). A strong person isn't overly concerned with what weak people say, do, or think.
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS The best way to get to know a strong man without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service organization, a school organization, or a religious organization.
I think it's highly commendable that you are obeying your parents and doing the right thing, you are a good kid. The world needs more people like you. I suggest that you try to avoid conversation. Don't text or talk to him on the phone. Don't flirt or give off indications that you have feelings for him. The best thing is to try to avoid conversation and contact all together. If he tries to continue to pursue a relationship with you then kindly tell him that your not interested right now and you want to just focus on finishing school. Most likely your feelings for him are just a phase and will pass if you don't feed those feelings. You feed those feelings by thinking about him a lot and talking with him a lot. Crushes pass. Trust me, one day years from now you will look back and think "ew why did I ever like him." It happens a lot with girls. I hope this helps! I am going to post a link below to a webpage that has awesome advice for teens. It even has articles on dating and boys that gives great advice. Take a look at it :)
Just avoid talking to him. Don't look at him. Concentrate on your schoolwork (which is what you should be doing regardless - school is not Social Time).
If he comes up to talk to you, just say, "I don't want to date anymore and I don't want to be friends. I want to go our separate ways. Please don't talk to me anymore." And then walk away.
Just ignore him no matter what. Block his number, block him on social media, don't let mutual friends talk about him to you (just interrupt them and say, "We're not seeing each other anymore. Please don't bring him up" and then walk away if they won't listen to you).
If it gets to the point where he's following you around, won't leave you alone, etc., then tell a teacher or the school counselor what's going on.